Re: Going out of my mind
Originally Posted by
Viking818
But I must say, once I opened that box, the terror is real and all encompassing. I can't stay off forums. I can't stop searching the web. Today I am searching prices for wheelchairs.....how to apply for disability.....end of life documents. I can't stop. I did find this group last night and it helped. Even my wife asked "what did you read that gave you some hope...you almost seem relieved!". It was this forum. But then today I was back to Google. Found an article where PALS patient had my same starting symptoms and I completely unraveled.
You can stay off forums.
You can stop Googling.
You can stop.
Nobody is forcing you to do these things. Each time you Google a symptom, you are making a conscious decision to do so - despite knowing it's the psychological equivalent of throwing fuel on a fire.
People who don't experience this don't get it. I wish I could "just stop being ridiculous!".....I wish I could believe the odds......I wish I could be happy again.....I don't see hope.
I do get it. This was me, with MS, cancer, heart failure, stroke etc and this is why I have no problem in challenging what you're saying. If I can do it - why not you?
What has helped some of you overcome this fear?
Acceptance of inevitable death and of potential illness. Change what can be changed (even if it's only my own attitude) and endure the rest. And with as much courage and grace as I have within me.
Also, the knowledge that when I actually came close to dying - I wasn't scared at all because it was real. It was happening. It wasn't imagined, and I coped far better than I thought I would. My imaginary diseases, however, have brought me to the very brink of my sanity..
Should I talk to someone?
A therapist? Absolutely. Or speak to people (like me) who have overcome HA..
Medication can be helpful with health anxiety but needs to go alongside therapy for you to effectively overcome HA. Medication just puts it to sleep but the problems generally come back as soon as people come off the meds. This is an issue with thinking. You thought your way into this, and you need to think your way out again.. To do this, you will need to challenge your thoughts and re-frame situations..
Yes, it is rough. It was a living hell in my case. Hell of the mental breakdown kind after 40 years of living with HA - but with a lot of hard work and determination I overcame my HA and three years later, I've stayed out of that hole despite some major health concerns..
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A thought is harmless unless we believe it.