I have very severe anxiety, its crippling and I cant leave the house far at all, I try everyday and have counselling every week over the phone alongside cbt which I am on a waiting list for, I do practice techniques when out from self study of cbt and my counselling.

I really want to start medication, but my ability to speak to a doctor is difficult as no one can really due to covid and I end up talking to a health care assistant that specialises in mental health. I explained I would need to start on a micro dose and build up every seven days and would really need a sedative to help me through the First two weeks,

Citalopram is the med I am looking to start as sertraline didn't agree with me, and citalopram helped my mum get better through the same problem which seems genetic agoraphobia. 2.5mg going up every seven days till I reach 20mg, with diazepam as an when to help if needed, is that unreasonable to ask for? Because they reject this idea completely.

I know I should fight to speak to the doctor not a healthcare assistant as he may be more understanding and willing to perscribe the diazepam, as the healthcare assistant wants me on 10mg straight away with no chance of diazepam, when I won't be able to handle the initial anxiety spike as I am phobic towards meds already so this is huge for me and my mind will create my worst nightmares on sugar pills if I thought they was antidepressants.

I just cant seem to get past the barrier of the healthcare assistant, she is nice but feel my anxiety is above her knowledge and I need to get something done about it, but on my terms. I hate ringing the doctors as I've asked about diazepam before alongside and was given some but they are out of date as I wasn't ready and fear them seeing me as drug seeking, and my other fear is being made to go somewhere or sectioned even though I am not suicidal in any way as I've rang a few times over three years being pretty much housebound.

I appreciate any replies, suggestions and what you would do if you was agoraphobic and suffering panic attacks outside. I am actively engaging in therapy and trying very hard with this my request for advice is pointing more towards medication please, thank you.