I apologise for the incoming rant, but I need to get all of this down in writing. I'm finding it so hard to accept that all of my problems are being caused by anxiety. I've really tried to stay level headed about everything, but I'm just feeling worse and worse. I know I'm going to sound like a textbook "overthinker" but I'm convinced I have something going on health wise. I'm almost certain it's autoimmune related. That or something neurological and progressive.

The symptoms that bother me most are ones I've spoken about before, and recently, they've become a lot worse.

The main one which really has me worried is sudden waves of intense fatigue. Not sleepiness, tiredness or lack of energy - draining, unrelenting exhaustion as if my life force is leaving me and even breathing is an effort.

When this fatigue happens, it comes on extremely quickly. I could be feeling absolutely amazing one moment, and the next I can barely talk without feeling like I'll pass out from the effort. Nothing triggers it. My blood sugar is perfect at the time. My blood pressure is a lovely 110/75. My oxygen saturation is fine. My heart rate is ticking away at 70. Yet I feel like I'm fading out of existence.

It comes and goes in "waves". Sometimes it will happen for an hour and go away for another three or four weeks. Other times it will happen over a few days and gradually fade away.

It has brought something new with it this time round too - Buzzing, throbbing and aching in my hands and feet. This pain is an easy 7 out of 10 on the pain scale, and nothing helps it. Sometimes the pain quickly gets replaced by a feeling of weakness in my legs and arms, with trembling, heaviness and any movement of those limbs causes a huge wave of exhaustion to crash over me. Again, this can last a short time, or linger for days.

No matter how healthy I eat, calm/hydrated/rested I remain, it always comes back. I can't quite put my finger on an exact pattern, but it follows a similar process to relapsing and remitting diseases. The fact it hits out of the blue, no matter what emotional/health state I am in, really makes me wonder. The obvious things like blood pressure, blood sugar, heart rate, state of mind etc also somewhat rule out the usual suspects.

Recently I was given antibiotics which I reacted terribly to even though I previously had no allergies to this specific medication. I had agonising joint pain, stiffness and I barely ate for three days. I read that autoimmune problems can flare up after a course of antibiotics. I was taken off them, advised never to take those ones again. Then soon after that, I had my second Covid jab, and the horrible joint pain flared up again. It lasted for four days. Because the jab causes an immune reaction, I was seriously suspecting some kind of autoimmune type flare.

I've been to the doctor about all of this, detailing horrendous fatigue, headaches, joint and muscle aching, tingling, paraesthesia, hair loss, and memory problems. I was told, straight to my face that "we sometimes just need to sweep our pain under the carpet, I used to be a hypochondriac too".

I never felt so alone in that moment. I didn't go in with big theories, and I didn't even want pain relief or meds, I just told them I had been suffering with this thing on and off for a long time, and nothing was improving. A paramedic who checked me over recently when I had chest pain thinks I have a neurological issue, or something relapsing and remitting, just from the history she took from me. Yet the GP didn't want to hear a single word of it. They just told me to be less stressed.

I truly wish this was anxiety, because then I could address it.