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Thread: My son (20) has social anxiety - how do I help him?

  1. #11

    Re: My son (20) has social anxiety - how do I help him?

    My son was exactly the same at college. He never went out and had terrible anxiety even for family social occasions. He spent his first year of uni at home and never really got involved with the social things. By the second year I decided that I had to encourage him to move out, because the way he was living wasn't good for him or me. He moved out, and somehow threw himself into some social events, but they were all taking drugs and he slowly began to get involved with the drug side of university. This helped him socialise but took him on a downward spiral - eventually he saw his GP who prescribed antidepressants and CBT, they helped him a lot. He got a girlfriend, started going to festivals and on holidays with the boys. The last year he has had therapy to deal with his mental health and addiction which has also helped a lot. He is now waiting for a referral for an assessment for ADHD/Aspergers. This has been a difficult journey for both of us and he hasn't always made the best choices, but he has managed to grow up a lot and address the causes of his anxiety. He has now moved away to do his MA and in January will move to Paris. I must add that my son has PTSD from the death of his father, so this was not just social anxiety but OCD and health anxiety. If they don't leave home they cant grow up and make choices and deal with stress, they become emotionally stunted and unable to grow. It's difficult as a parent to say and see that and I know everyone is different and has different experiences - I just felt that the more my son was at home with me, the more his mental health deteriorated. Many of his friends at uni have had mental health issues and are on medication - there seems to be an epidemic of this. I think University is the issue and they are not ready for that change in their lifes - but that is society today and unfortunately it will continue. Even now he struggles with change and doing something out of his comfort zone - but he's learned to try - without alcohol, drugs etc. And I'm very proud of him for that.

  2. #12

    Re: My son (20) has social anxiety - how do I help him?

    Your son is lucky to have you. The best thing to do is to continue being there for him and letting him know that even though he needs to go out or whatever happens outside it stays outside. When he gets home to you and family, you will always be there. Person with social anxiety just need affirmations that someone is there for them even after a rough day. Enable GingerCannot connect to Ginger Check your internet connection
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