Before I say this, I know I should get yearly pap smears and it's stupid of me to not had one.

I didn't become sexually active until I 3 years ago when I turned 30. The first time I had sex was extremely painful and found out I had vaginisums. Which basically means due to anxiety or other causes your vaginal walls tighten up and restrict things going in.

I started therapy for it cured it. Mines was anxiety induced and needed to be calm. After about a 1 and half of being sexually active I tried to get a pap smear. I told the doctor to be gentle but she didn't care and . My anxiety kicked in walls started tightening and the exam couldn't be completed.

Since then I've avoided going to the gyno. It's been 3 years since I've become sexually active and I saw a advertisement yesterday for cervical cancer screening and how women wind up with advanced stages because they don't get pap smears.

This is sending my anxiety over the edge.

I've booked a pap smear after that, but I'm now I have cervical fears and I'm fearing having to have an examine down there.

I feel like such an idiot and coward for not going to get a pap smear sooner.

I'm also unsure of they'll be able to complete the pap smear after what happened last time.