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Thread: Lost sister

  1. #1

    Lost sister

    A month ago, my sister was run over to death by some *******. We were very close ... A week ago I started having panic attacks, how can I live with it?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Posts
    2,736

    Re: Lost sister

    I'm so very sorry to hear about your sister.

    Have a read through the advice given on here, it's really helpful. Learning about what is happening in your body takes away a lot of the fear which having them creates.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    24,667

    Re: Lost sister

    I'm so sorry to hear about this. No doubt it was traumatic and is part of what you're experiencing now. Losing a loved one is very difficult at best and add the circumstances here and it's no wonder you're struggling. Reaching out for some professional help/grief counseling would be wise considering the circumstances.

    Sending...

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    3,832

    Re: Lost sister

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    In 2014, I lost my best friend suddenly, and I started having panic attacks immediately afterwards. It shut down my life for a time, and I pretty much felt apart completely there for awhile, until I got myself into grief counseling and I was put on an anti-depressant. I can't stress getting into counseling or therapy enough. Some grief is too much to deal with alone, and that's why we go into a state of panic. Please call your insurance and getting into see someone as soon as you can.
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  5. #5

    Re: Lost sister

    Losing someone close is a terrible experience. Everyone keeps saying that the pain goes away eventually, in fact, it doesn't, it only becomes smaller. Her memory will always be there, actually, I've come to see this as a good thing, it helps remember the joyful memories. Apart from time, talking about your feelings is the best way to deal with them. Getting counselling for grief helped understand how to cope with the pain and move. I still sometimes get overwhelmed with feelings and regrets but it has been getting easier with time.
    Last edited by karenzoall; 27-09-21 at 08:48.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    393

    Re: Lost sister

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  7. #7

    Re: Lost sister

    Firstly I am truly sorry for your loss, no other words would be appropriate.

    30 year's ago I was involved in a similar situation and at that time PTSD and other emotional support was not available.

    I would strongly suggest very politely that you seek the most suitable help for you and your grief and mental health. You might find it takes a while to find what works for you.

    I feel your pain and really hope your healing process is not too difficult, I know that is a massive understatement but you need to do what is right by you. Talk to family, friends, anyone that might ease your broken heart.

    Take care and I really wish you well xx

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,918

    Re: Lost sister

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through with something as traumatic as this. Your sister was killed by someone so there is bound to be a lot of anger there too (which is understandable)

    However, I do know what it feels like to lose someone I love..

    It's only been a month for you. Things are still incredibly raw and you are probably still in a state of shock. Your body will be responding to this by releasing stress hormones, and constantly. (This is why you're having panic attacks)

    I'm not going to insult you with the 'you'll get over it' BS because I know that's not true. I've lost people I love and I haven't 'got over it'. I never will. I have, however, learned how to live without them. But this takes time and you only lost your sister a month ago. For now, you need to focus on doing what needs to be done to get you through this period of rawness and physical pain..

    With support from the right people (especially professionals) you will find your way. You will discover what works for you and what doesn't, whether that's meds, therapy, or a combination of both..

    The best piece of advice I can give you is to talk. Talk to professionals, talk to your family - talk to your sister if this helps you. I still 'talk' to my dad and mum and they died 26 and 11 years ago respectively. It works for me so I don't give a damn what people think. If you struggle to verbalise how you feel, write things down or use some other creative form. It doesn't matter how you do this; the important thing is that you don't suppress your thoughts and feelings..

    There are no rules with grief, and there's no time limit - no matter what some people might say to you. We lose more than a relative when they die; we lose a part of ourselves too. When my mum died, I was no longer a daughter in the physical sense and the part of my personality that she (and my dad) brought out in me was lost too. But. I am a better person for having loved them, and for them loving me. And that love always remains..

    You will go through a lot of emotions in the coming weeks and months. Grief, in it's nature, is an emotional rollercoaster that can sometimes take our breath away with it's intensity, and sometimes when we're not expecting it to.. (Like I said; no rules..)

    Take care of yourself and know that you can come on here anytime, day or night, and there will always be someone here to listen.

    Make the call and ask for some help. X
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