Hello. This is my 1st post. I'm terrified. I have had an intense fear of rabies for years and 2 days ago my worst fear happened. I am on vacation with my family and saw something flying towards my face. It touched the side of my face and I freaked out and brushed it off and looked to see what it was. All I saw was it tumbling in the sky, beige color, maybe the size of my hand ( for reference I can fit in kid gloves so my hands aren't huge), and then it quickly righted itself and flew off fast. My first thought was moth. My 2nd was bat. No one else saw it. My husband tried reassuring me, but I became worse as before we left I found out about a case of rabies where a women was scratched by a rapid bat in the same area this happened to me.

That evening I called my nurse line back home who said with no obvious wound not to worry. But, I've had this fear for so long I know that people have contracted rabies from bats with no visible wounds. I didn't want to ruin our next day of plans so I called it a night and didn't push it. But, I was up all night freaking out and unable to eat.

The next day, I called the local health department here and explained that I'm not sure if it was a moth or bat. She recommended the rabies shots, although she did say the odds are very rare I have it and that protocol is to always recommend it with a possible bat exposure. Which are extremely expensive and scare the living crap out of me.

So, here I am. 2 days in with zero sleep, can't eat, multiple panic attacks. I don't know what to do. I'm scared to get the shots for what was most likely a moth and if I do I am convinced I'll catch a disease from the shots. The PEP uses plasma and I found out that the brain diseases that kill you can not be 100% factored out of them. Although, no case has been linked to it.

I feel like I'm going to die either way. I feel like I'm ruining this vacation that we planned for so long. I feel like an utter failure as a wife and mom. I feel so alone in my fear.