Hi friends! It's been a while since I've been here, but you folks are always so supportive so I thought I'd pop in for some advice/moral support.

I am crashing and burning a month into America's very abrupt return to this uncanny valley of normal life. I'm back to in person law school and my 7 year old is back to school. Safety-wise I'm not *that* concerned. My school has required vaccines and mandated masks and my daughter's school district also has a mask mandate and requires staff to be vaccinated. So far, there have been no outbreaks at either of our schools.

BUT. I cannot shake what really feels like situational depression that's set in. I feel a really overwhelming sadness that vaccines didn't usher in the level of normal we all kind of expected. The long-term mask wearing is trigging almost weekly migraines (because mine are triggered by TMJ), I feel sad that my daughter has to go to school in this weird dystopian nightmare - masked, sitting spread apart and all facing the same way in the cafeteria, spread out across the playground at recess, etc...

I am EXHAUSTED by the sudden return of early morning school drop off, pick-up, late night classes for me, all the demands, after 18 months of living on our own schedule and doing everything from home. As much as I hated quarantine and restrictions and being stuck at home, the stress of the pandemic was manageable because the stress of everyday life was removed. Now we've moved back into everyday life but the pandemic is still here.

This past week I just keep bursting into tears. I can't focus on all the school work I have, I cry on my way home from dropping my daughter off at school because I miss our calm homeschooling days together.

Maybe biggest of all, I feel such immense disappointment at the lost joy I have for law school. I started school in fall of 2019 with such excitement. It was truly the peak of my adult life. I had never felt better. I'd made it through 6 years of being a stay at home mom. My daughter was in school and I was reclaiming my identity and embarking on this incredibly exciting new adventure. Seven months in, we were in quarantine. Now, 18 months later all that enthusiasm is gone. The idea of starting a new career in this environment just makes me kind of sad. I've always been a really positive and optimistic person, but a lot of that is gone now and I'm not sure I can every look at my country or the world the same again.

I have a therapy appointment next Tuesday to talk all this through, but I guess I wondered if anyone is feeling this way and if you've found anything to help you get some joy back or manage all the expectations of re-opening.