hi all

trigger warning for past prescription drug abuse

iíve been managing my health anxiety quite well since put on 20mg of Lexapro, however i do have occasional flare ups and unfortunately this is one of those occasions.

i have had pains around my liver since i was 15, iím 21 now and still get the same pain. iíve had ultrasounds blood tests etc, all clear (the last was done in 2018/2019 i believe.

hereís the thing - iíve battled opiate addiction too. prescription pills, many of them containing paracetamol. iíve battled this constantly since i was 14 and am only now getting a good hold on it.

iím pretty scared iíve severely hurt my liver or kidneys or something, even though the last tests were clear.

the pain is dull, varies in pain level over the day, but is constant. it ranges from upper right rib/abdomen area to upper and middle back, to shoulder and back to kidneys. it is soothed with heat and compacts but iím having real trouble staying calm about it which i know is making me hyperfixate on it and make it worse.

iím overweight a little, losing weight now so i wouldnít be surprised if it was a fatty liver, but of course my brain says itís cirrhosis.

i am otherwise fine - no real nausea or toilet issues, not jaundiced although i obsessively check.

i guess iím asking for advice on where to go from here. i have a doctors appointment booked for next week anyways so i will of course mention this and my elevated anxiety levels. in the meantime, iím wondering how to calm my nerves and educate myself somehow.

thanks in advance for your time