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Thread: Donít know how to keep going :(

  1. #1

    Donít know how to keep going :(

    This may sound dramatic but I feel so down because of my health issues at the moment. Iíve posted before about my internal piles, which donít seem to stop bleeding, Iím convinced Iíve got bowel cancer. My GP
    wants to give the suppositories another go, before we go down the route of a flexible sigmoidoscopy. I already think itís pointless and Iím dying of bowel cancer.

    Iíve just had a bowel movement and there was quite a lot of blood. Iím petrified.

    Iíve hurt my back now as well just to add to my woes and I have my annual mammogram on Monday to check my breast cancer hasnít come back. I feel like just giving up.

    I canít face being diagnosed with cancer again. I feel so up against it at the moment.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
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    Re: Donít know how to keep going :(

    You are an incredibly strong person, y'know that?

    Not sure what to tell you other than like all of us, you have greater inner resources than you know.

    I don't blame you for being afraid, but I think you can probably trust your GP on this one. Do they know about your fears?
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  3. #3

    Re: Donít know how to keep going :(

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueIris View Post
    You are an incredibly strong person, y'know that?

    Not sure what to tell you other than like all of us, you have greater inner resources than you know.

    I don't blame you for being afraid, but I think you can probably trust your GP on this one. Do they know about your fears?
    Thank you, thatís such a lovely comment. My GP is aware of my anxiety and the fact I was let down by my previous GP in the past, who
    told me I was too young for breast cancer at 35. I struggle with believing GPs now! I had to persist and see another GP to be taken seriously about my breast lump. Though this time Iíve spoken to 3 GPs, seen one in person and spoken to a BUPA nurse about my pile symptoms!!

    Iíve had my life turned upside down by cancer once and I canít help but fear itís going to happen again.

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Re: Donít know how to keep going :(

    Of course you're afraid, any sane person would be.

    Are any of your doctors helping you with your anxiety? I think your fears are a lot less irrational than many on here, but you don't deserve to feel so awful.
    __________________
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  5. #5

    Re: Donít know how to keep going :(

    Iím taking sertraline for my anxiety but obviously that doesnít solve everything! Following my cancer diagnosis I find it hard to accept any symptoms are just common ailments many people get!! I always jump to the worse case scenario!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    1,811

    Re: Donít know how to keep going :(

    I think it is totally natural that you are feeling as you do. I assume, since several medical professionals seem pretty confident piles are the culprit, they have seen or felt them? Also- your symptoms match up very well to this diagnosis.

    Do you think you will manage to let this worry go WITHOUT the sigmoidoscopy?

  7. #7
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    May 2008
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    Re: Donít know how to keep going :(

    Ps- I think the itching is a bit of a giveaway too!
    But the most important thing is that you and the medics looking after you find a way to make you feel safe again. Whether that is through more tests or help with you anxiety xxx

  8. #8

    Re: Donít know how to keep going :(

    When I actually managed to see a GP in person she carried out a rectal examination and said she felt internal piles and a possible fissure as well. I just donít believe her!! Silly I know. If the bleeding does stop I think I could cope without the sigmoidoscopy.

    Somehow I need to regain my trust in the medical profession. Although I must say, whilst I had to seek a second opinion about my breast lump, once I was diagnosed and starting treatment, I couldnít fault the NHS.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    13,882

    Re: Donít know how to keep going :(

    Deb, I think under the circumstances you could ask for a flexible sigmoidoscopy if you can't bear the thought of another week of suppositories. If the GP refuses get him/her to email the reasons why to you and then you will be able to re-read this when you are feeling very panicky?

    This is such a tough time for you. Don't get too far ahead of yourself though. Deal with facts not fears. Talk to your GP and get him/her to support and acknowledge your very understandable anxiety xx

  10. #10
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    Re: Donít know how to keep going :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Deb350 View Post
    When I actually managed to see a GP in person she carried out a rectal examination and said she felt internal piles and a possible fissure as well. I just don’t believe her!! Silly I know. If the bleeding does stop I think I could cope without the sigmoidoscopy.

    Somehow I need to regain my trust in the medical profession. Although I must say, whilst I had to seek a second opinion about my breast lump, once I was diagnosed and starting treatment, I couldn’t fault the NHS.
    I've had 2 anal fissure ops..There can be a hell of a lot of red blood but I appreciate that you want and need far more than other people's experiences

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