Don’t know how to keep going :(

[Deb350]

This may sound dramatic but I feel so down because of my health issues at the moment. I’ve posted before about my internal piles, which don’t seem to stop bleeding, I’m convinced I’ve got bowel cancer. My GP
wants to give the suppositories another go, before we go down the route of a flexible sigmoidoscopy. I already think it’s pointless and I’m dying of bowel cancer.

I’ve just had a bowel movement and there was quite a lot of blood. I’m petrified.

I’ve hurt my back now as well just to add to my woes and I have my annual mammogram on Monday to check my breast cancer hasn’t come back. I feel like just giving up.

I can’t face being diagnosed with cancer again. I feel so up against it at the moment.

[BlueIris]

You are an incredibly strong person, y'know that?

Not sure what to tell you other than like all of us, you have greater inner resources than you know.

I don't blame you for being afraid, but I think you can probably trust your GP on this one. Do they know about your fears?

[Deb350]

You are an incredibly strong person, y'know that?

Not sure what to tell you other than like all of us, you have greater inner resources than you know.

I don't blame you for being afraid, but I think you can probably trust your GP on this one. Do they know about your fears?

Thank you, that’s such a lovely comment. My GP is aware of my anxiety and the fact I was let down by my previous GP in the past, who
told me I was too young for breast cancer at 35. I struggle with believing GPs now! I had to persist and see another GP to be taken seriously about my breast lump. Though this time I’ve spoken to 3 GPs, seen one in person and spoken to a BUPA nurse about my pile symptoms!!

I’ve had my life turned upside down by cancer once and I can’t help but fear it’s going to happen again.

[BlueIris]

Of course you're afraid, any sane person would be.

Are any of your doctors helping you with your anxiety? I think your fears are a lot less irrational than many on here, but you don't deserve to feel so awful.

[Deb350]

I’m taking sertraline for my anxiety but obviously that doesn’t solve everything! Following my cancer diagnosis I find it hard to accept any symptoms are just common ailments many people get!! I always jump to the worse case scenario!

[jojo2316]

I think it is totally natural that you are feeling as you do. I assume, since several medical professionals seem pretty confident piles are the culprit, they have seen or felt them? Also- your symptoms match up very well to this diagnosis.

Do you think you will manage to let this worry go WITHOUT the sigmoidoscopy?

[jojo2316]

Ps- I think the itching is a bit of a giveaway too!
But the most important thing is that you and the medics looking after you find a way to make you feel safe again. Whether that is through more tests or help with you anxiety xxx

[Deb350]

When I actually managed to see a GP in person she carried out a rectal examination and said she felt internal piles and a possible fissure as well. I just don’t believe her!! Silly I know. If the bleeding does stop I think I could cope without the sigmoidoscopy.

Somehow I need to regain my trust in the medical profession. Although I must say, whilst I had to seek a second opinion about my breast lump, once I was diagnosed and starting treatment, I couldn’t fault the NHS.

[pulisa]

Deb, I think under the circumstances you could ask for a flexible sigmoidoscopy if you can't bear the thought of another week of suppositories. If the GP refuses get him/her to email the reasons why to you and then you will be able to re-read this when you are feeling very panicky?

This is such a tough time for you. Don't get too far ahead of yourself though. Deal with facts not fears. Talk to your GP and get him/her to support and acknowledge your very understandable anxiety xx

[pulisa]

When I actually managed to see a GP in person she carried out a rectal examination and said she felt internal piles and a possible fissure as well. I just don’t believe her!! Silly I know. If the bleeding does stop I think I could cope without the sigmoidoscopy.

Somehow I need to regain my trust in the medical profession. Although I must say, whilst I had to seek a second opinion about my breast lump, once I was diagnosed and starting treatment, I couldn’t fault the NHS.

I've had 2 anal fissure ops..There can be a hell of a lot of red blood but I appreciate that you want and need far more than other people's experiences