Re: How do you support someone with HA?
If he's telling you that you're making things worse, then you need to be taking less care of him and more of yourself.
Speaking as somebody whose HA used to be way out of control, the eventual catalyst to me getting sorted was that I couldn't handle the way my behaviour was hurting my husband. Be kind, certainly, but be firm, and don't take any crap.
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Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett