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Thread: Introduction

  1. #1

    Post Introduction

    Hi, all. I'm a 28 year old male. I live with a rare, severe disability as well as a couple of chronic health conditions that went undiagnosed and untreated for years. Not feeling safe in my body has done a number on my mental health. OCD and health anxiety are a troublesome combination. Sore throat? Must be Covid. (Was actually allergies.) Mild chest pain? Must be cardiac. (Turned out to be bad posture.) Most recently, I started experiencing skipped heartbeats and a sense of momentary sickness a thousand times a day. After a battery of tests, I’m told the ectopic beats are probably harmless and are being caused by chronic dehydration, malnutrition, lack of sleep, and waves of excess adrenaline and cortisol as a result.

    I’m joining this forum because my stress levels are legitimately ruining my life. I can’t focus. I’m weeks behind in everything that matters. I drain my friends and family with my constant blathering. “What do you think? Are you sure? How do you know? What if…?” It’s exhausting. My body almost literally doesn’t know how to relax. My last thought before I fall asleep most nights is fear; and fear is always the first thing I feel when I wake up in the morning. Fear for what’s next and gratitude for waking up at all. This has been going on for close to ten years.

    My mindfulness practice and attending to my basic needs usually takes the edge off, but feeling my heart stop like that saw me nosediving again. It’s been happening for a month. I’m sick of it. The good news is that the fear is giving way to anger. Hearing that the heart is structurally fine was a huge relief. I should be all right in the short term. But in the longer term, I’m done with being scared of death. I have things to do that have nothing to do with this kind of misery.

    Thank you for being a resource. Time for me to go perform some self-care.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    8,333

    Welcome to No More Panic!

    Hiya BodyOnBackwards and welcome to NMP

    Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and
    are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

    I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and
    support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way
    __________________
    Emmz xx

    nolite te basstardes carborundorum





  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    429

    Re: Introduction

    Welcome to NMP; BodyOnBackwards

    It sounds like you have a lot to deal with. I'm glad you joined our forum and perhaps you'll be able to ask questions and vent or whatever on here so you don't burden or put too much pressure on your friends. Sometimes the very people we trust a and confide in will walk away which leaves us suffering in silence and that isn't good either.

    Keep going with your mindfulness and meditation if it helps.

    See you around the forum.

    ~Sal
    Last edited by Scissel73; 22-10-21 at 18:47.

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