Very very anxious don’t know what to do :(

[silver_shoes]

Hello I am here because my anxiety is massively spiralling and I feel I need some sense talking to me please..

I have been posting recently about my anxiety/panic attacks when I have been driving, this is an old problem which seems to have come back.

My husband does not drive. He passed his driving test many years ago aged around 18 but then for many years he/we lived in a city with excellent public transport, so did not feel like he needed a car.

Now however, it is becoming more important that he resumes driving again. My panic attacks have been happening on rural roads for some bizarre reason, and we have recently moved out to the countryside..! (I did not realise that my problems are going to flare up again to this extent when we decided to buy the house!).
I am starting therapy next month, and has been prescribed some medication and I am positive but I do want to overcome this issue however in the meantime it would be really helpful if my husband is able to drive.

So recently he has decided to have some refresher driving lessons so that he is able to drive my car, just because it has been so long since he has driven - he thinks around 18 years or so.

This brings me to the reason for my post - The driving instructor has just arrived, and he is having the first of these refresher lessons as we speak.

I am going out of my mind with anxiety over this!
The funny thing is, my husband was not anxious about it at all. It is all me, and I was trying so hard to not let my anxiety come across to him because I didn’t want to make him nervous for his driving lesson.

My heart is racing and I’m sweating profusely.., I have images of something awful happening even though, of course, the driving instructor has a dual- control car and I am sure he is responsible and would be able to tell if my husband was not capable of driving somehow.

It is a two hour lesson, and I personally think this is too much at once (in terms of concentration/tiredness) especially for somebody who has not driven for a long time, but apparently that is how the driving school does it when it’s a refresher course.

I’m quite literally shaking with anxiety. I have horrible images of the police coming around to my house and telling me something terrible has happened, please help me get myself out of this!!

[Fishmanpa]

Perhaps reading the replies from the previous threads would be beneficial?

FMP

[silver_shoes]

I’ve never posted about my anxiety over my husband having driving lessons before?

[pulisa]

Please try not to project your own anxiety onto your husband's situation? He is ready and willing to do the 2 hours. He is being monitored all the time by a competent, qualified instructor who has control of the car. It's beyond your control now which is what is terrifying you.

Let us know when he is back safe and sound. The 1st time will be the worst..He is doing this because he wants to resume driving. It will also help you and your sense of being responsible as a sole driver but ultimately it's for him. If you are feeling guilty for putting him at perceived "risk" because of your anxiety then this is an unhelpful, skewed thought.

[Fishmanpa]

One positive thing that has happened today is that my husband has booked in for a course of refresher driving lessons. He starts these next weekend, and I am very nervous about him being behind the wheel but he fully appreciates the need for him to drive at this point.

From one of the previous threads. They're all related to this current spiral you find yourself in. I did read that you're looking into real life professional help so that's a positive for sure regardless of the wait involved. Aside from reassurance, there are some great resources here on the site that could help in the meantime.

FMP

[silver_shoes]

I’m just updating to let you know that my husband made it home safe and sound.
He drove for the full two hours and understandably has a headache now and is very tired!
I did try my hardest with my anxiety in the end, I kept myself busy with doing some housework and cooking the dinner.
My husband said that the driving instructor said he can definitely drive, he just needs more practice and in particular to focus on his positioning in the road. My husband said next time he has a lesson, he’s going to ask the instructor to help him work on his parking skills, as he knows that is something he struggled with even when he was learning.

[Fishmanpa]

A definite step forward!

FMP

[pulisa]

Good for your husband. He is doing his very best to get back behind the wheel and just needs more confidence and practice after so long being a passenger. You can help him by encouraging him to book more lessons and trying not to let your own anxiety project onto him? He's in very safe hands with a competent instructor. It's not as if he's been let loose on his own.