Hello all. I've been skimming through posts the last couple of days and I got to say thank you for being so open about your fears, and the interaction you all have with each other has helped calm my own fear down quite a lot just by reading. I figured I might add my own story in just to seek some advice.

Sooo here's my backstory: 2021 has not really been that kind to me. I ended 2020 having put down my dog, so I entered the year super sad and depressed and blamed myself for it for a very long time. Honestly, still do. Very early in January I began getting lower back pain and a weak, sort of tight/sore feeling in my left leg. It wasn't painful or anything and didn't impair anything I did, but I went to go check it out because it was a little annoying. GP sent me over to Orthopedic, who concluded that after sitting on my butt for 24 hours a day during the entire of 2020 probably did something in my back. It made sense, I worked from home most of the pandemic and had also quit the gym for safety and to avoid COVID. So I did some PT, didn't really help, but I still didn't have any fear of MND, wasn't even on my radar. I was sent to a neurologist and he did a clinical which I passed. Brain MRI and lumbar MRI both clean. We then did an EMG on June. I never got my results, but my neuro told me then and there that there was nothing wrong with me, and that I was 100% healthy. So I figured ok I guess I'll learn to live with my annoying back and leg tightness and it'll go away on it's own. Well, on July I had both COVID shots, and after my second one I had one of the worst flus I've ever had, which I heard could be a side effect and eventually went away. However, what didn't go away was this tight feeling in my throat and a constant need to swallow, with a lot of hypersalivation. My left arm is also feeling super weak (the arm that took the shot, coincidentally).

So here's when my fear kicks in. Frustrated that I wasn't getting any better, I googled what it is I could have, and came across ALS/MND. Literally by coincidence, shortly after learning this I started to experience intense fasciculations, everywhere from top to bottom. Feet to face. By around this time I had also completed a Barium Swallow test that came back completely normal, and ENT exam was good too. I went back to my neuro and explained my fears, about the fasciculations, soreness/tightness, etc. He laughed, but took me seriously enough to do the most throughout clinical exam I've ever had, then laughed again and kicked me out of his office (in a nice way). He said that I do not have ALS, that it was all benign and that it's all just my head. I was very happy to hear that, to be honest. But we're now entering November, and everything is still there. The fasciculations, the back pain, the leg pain (which has now copied itself to my other leg) and the arm pain. I find myself falling in through the ALS forums every day or so and I admit, I get really scared reading some of these stories. However, I'm also open that everything is just benign, or maybe something else entirely. I don't have any objective weakness and my reflexes are fine, so I am open to the idea that it is all in my head. But... it's hard. I started going to the gym again to get my mind off things, as it always helped, but everything is still there. Wearing shirts is a risk, as my bicep sometimes does a quick fasciculation and I just feel super embarrassed when it happens. Been feeling really down every day, not eating and sleeping a lot.

So the TLDR: I think I may have ALS/MND, but at the same time I think I don't. I need some advice. How did you all fight your health anxiety about this disease? Did any of you experience any similar symptoms are then got ok? How did you get your fear out of this disease? Did you seek a second opinion, maybe another EMG? Is anyone currently dealing with the same fear as I am?

So I just realized I sort of rambled on after I started. Sorry! Thank you all in advance, appreciate it.

Dan