Small purple thread like veins on breast please help

[Chlobo]

ok report back after that - good luck

Thanks. I feel sick with fear today

[Chlobo]

I've been to see the consultant. He examined both breasts and did a scan on them. Said they were perfectly fine.

[Carys]

Well......its quite brave of you Chlobo to come back on and tell us what we knew and told you would be the outcome, and advised to not waste the money and believe previous doctors. As I said to you earlier in this thread - you have had years of HA terminal/serious illness fears and never, not once, have your GPs been incorrect. They aren't this time either. I do appreciate that you've updated the thread.

So......how do you feel about that outcome right now ? Do you believe this consultant ? (at the moment) Can you see what you've done to yourself over the last few weeks ? You don't seem terribly 'celebratory' in writing style.

[pulisa]

Maybe you won't have wasted money if you can take something from the result of this consultation? That "something" being that you need to commit yourself to continuing with the therapy for your HA to the exclusion of all "research" when you feel compelled to replace your BC fears with some other sinister condition?

Do you feel "let down" by not having your BC fears justified? Do you actually believe the doctor?

[Chlobo]

I'm not sure how I feel in all honesty, I don't regret going or spending the money because I felt like I needed to be set free from this.
5 weeks of total hell. I've lost weight, I've chewed my nails to shreds from anxiety, my house is a mess and my children have had to suffer my low mood . I woke up this morning and from the moment I woke up to this evening I have been repeating what he said over and over again in my head because I have too, I can't let my mind slip back to that place. Every tingle or slight pain I've felt I've pushed away, I then get a strange feeling in my cheek and I had to force myself to push away a panic attack.
I feel very lucky and grateful that I could walk out of that clinic being told I was okay, which I'm sure a lot of women don't get.
I just feel exhausted, numb, grateful I can't really explain how I feel.
All I know is I will put my all into my therapy and maybe one day I can be one of the ones that have recovered on here

[pulisa]

"Recovery" to me means being able to manage HA and to stop myself from self-sabotaging this management. You've got to be tough on yourself and not give in to the "I can't help it, it's my HA" mindset. You DO have a choice whereas people with diagnosed illnesses don't so you ARE fortunate in this respect and have to keep reminding yourself of this. Chasing a perceived diagnosis is expensive, debilitating and completely pointless when you have already been examined/assessed by many doctors and nurses but feel you know better because you've seen stuff online etc etc.

Good luck with your therapy. You will need to be completely committed to this and must not self-sabotage in order to truly benefit.

[Carys]

because I felt like I needed to be set free from this.

I agree with all Pulisa said above. For me this wording speaks volumes. Being 'set free' isn't seeking expensive UNECCESSARY specialist scans and consultations, there will be another illness following this as per the pattern in your years of posting. This is a temporary pause UNTIL you really commit yourself to HA anxiety management. Being set free is being able to believe the first doctor, or actually - not even need to see the doctor at all about something that is clearly a non-issue. Being set free is being able to do all those things that everyone on this thread has tried to get you to do from the start. Don't use the 'its my HA' excuse, its passive and YOU can control your behaviours.

5 weeks of total hell. I've lost weight, I've chewed my nails to shreds from anxiety, my house is a mess and my children have had to suffer my low mood

Yep, and literally NONE of it needed to happen. 5 weeks of being totally well physically.

One final point, of major relevance, which shows you are still thinking there was something to fear and you are justifying mentally the specialist private appointment -

I feel very lucky and grateful that I could walk out of that clinic being told I was okay, which I'm sure a lot of women don't get.

You WALKED INTO the clinic being okay and having been told that. You shouldn't have been there at all.

[BlueIris]

...What Pulisa and Carys said.

PLEASE learn from this experience and don't waste your time, worry and money on something like this again. You're ill, and health anxiety is the disease.

[Fishmanpa]

All I know is I will put my all into my therapy

This should be the only reply to Chlobo on this forum moving forward.

FMP

[Chlobo]

So my face to face therapy won't be going ahead now because of the new covid rules in the UK. It'll be telephone appointments only which I'm really bummed about.

Not only that my mind is jumping from one thing to another - I'm now focused on that bump I found deep in my thigh in July, I actually managed to let that one go because my breathing and air hunger came on not long after that, now I'm back to wondering.
It's been 5 months since I realised it was there and the doctor said he wasn't worried. Maybe in this amount of time it would of got noticeably larger. Every time I go onto social media something pops up about terminal illness or cancer related and it triggers me massively.