Perimenopause...the cruel trick

[erincassells]

Not sure if I'm just ranting or looking for support from other sensible ladies, but I'm back to having a rough time. I feel the worst I ever have and I'm guessing now I need to accept there is no relief in sight.

I've recently determined that my mood, depressive episodes and anxiety may be hormone related. I'm 44 and feel like absolute and utter shyt most of the time. Terrified that this is it...this is the rest of my life?

I exercise, try to eat well, try to get decent sleep, but nothing is working anymore to relieve any of it. When I'm told to improve my sleep...I want to scream. I've researched and tried every solution known to include 'sleep hygiene'. I don't feel me anymore.

I've have 30+ vials of blood taken with nothing alarming so far, but with small random anomalies and ton of radiology appointments. But yet, the constant symptoms and feeling like garbage continues. Guessing I'm perimenopausal and I can only gather if I feel this bad at 44 - what can this mean for my health? I feel like I'm aging rather poorly and at an accelerated rate.

Between my bowels, digestive issues, ductal ectasia and bloody nipple discharge, hair loss, weight gain, can't sleep (even with meds), migraines, tinnitus, dizziness, blood pressure fluctuations, heart palpitations, fatigue...no stamina, no endurance. I'm just not living anymore. I just spend 24 hrs a day managing shyt symptoms and getting by.

To think I get to spend what's supposed to a part of my life where I'm thriving and instead going to the doctors terrified is even more depressing. I don't have anyone to talk to that understands and I don't know anyone experiencing this in my age group. My female friends are not experiencing this and so I don't share because I know they'll think I'm a nutter.

I can't tell what symptoms are troubling or not because they are random and significant on some days.

I don't have a decent doctor to go to where I live now, but will be moving to the east coast soon.

I'm just feel terrified of the future. Don't know where to turn. I'm sure I sound like a nutter.

[BlueIris]

I'm 44 and getting a bit of this myself. Happy to chat any time you want, okay? I went through my freakout a few years back.

[erincassells]

Thank you, Blue. Just can't believe I've went from feeling generally okay at 41 ish ...to this. I can handle some symptoms here and there, but it's now a constant battle. Unrelenting. Thanks for your compassion.

[Carys]

Hiyer Erin,

I'm a fair bit further along than you (53) but felt appalling from about 45 onwards with perimenopause symptoms (of which there were many, some the same as yours some different). Its the fluctuations that cause all the assorted symptoms and as I'm now heading to 8 months no period, (fingers crossed I get to 12 months otherwise its back to square one!) certain symptoms have settled down and although others symptoms have come to the forefront its not the same hell it was a while ago. Nobody can say how long peri can be - 10 years, or a year, but it will end. Sadly, you have a lot of 'dealing with things', often changing things, inbetween. I found this article that I read years ago, that might help you - to at least know that sadly some people are very badly affected by hormonal changes and some just sail through it hardly knowing. I am also happy to chat. I guess you could also consider HRT, has your GP discussed it ?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...llbeing.health

[JulieJay92]

im the same, recently turned 47, wasnt to bad but my symptoms started within 2 months of stopping amitryptline after 20 years so unsure how far along i am either

[Cusper]

46 years old here and it's not good. I have had to do a mass overhaul of lifestyle so I don't jump off a bridge. I am not looking forward to things getting worse. It's ridiculous. Now, I am down to one cup of coffee in the morning because any more than that sends my anxiety into overdrive. I don't drink alcohol anymore because so much as a glass of wine would give me hot flashes. Ok... I could rant and rant. I feel slightly agitated most of the time and it's funny because I do sit up and take notice if I happen to be in a good mood. I probably am what people call a Karen now. As for sleep, I must get up like 3 times a night to pee and I don't even remember the last time I have slept 4 hours in succession. The heart palpitations are so frequent now that I just ignore them and get on with it. For all I know I have heart issues but going to the doctor is just a huge hassle. HOWEVER I did quit all grains and that helped and I have lost weight but that is only because I do strict intermittent fasting. My periods are ridiculous and unpredictable. 30 days... 19 days... 24 days. Mood swings and tears at relatively small things. Breast tenderness... cramps.. ovulation pain. I feel your pain. The last few years I have gone for ultrasounds, pap smears, blood work and all came back fine. But now I have really given up on trying to get help from doctors. I do research and try different things and some have helped but really all I feel like is that I am putting an insane amount of effort in trying to be normal on a daily basis and it is exhausting. I wish I were born a man. This #$%@ is for the birds. Actually I would rather be a bird.

[ErinKC]

I’m 38 but has a hysterectomy 10 months ago. Even though I have my ovaries, the surgery can speed things up and in the last few months I’ve had supppppper sore breast, nipple discharge, hot flashes, stomach issues, food cravings and then loss of appetite, and wonky dizzy spells. I’ve also had a few panic attacks, which I hadn’t had in a long, long time. If I had a uterus I’d think I was pregnant, but I very much suspect this is perimenopause. I have an appointment with my primary care next month for a physical so I’m going to ask her to check my hormones. I’m sorry you’re struggling!

Oh also the heart palpitations! So many! I also had such a bad hot flash during class last week (wearing a mask) that I thought I’d pass out and actually had to step out.