Not sure if I'm just ranting or looking for support from other sensible ladies, but I'm back to having a rough time. I feel the worst I ever have and I'm guessing now I need to accept there is no relief in sight.
I've recently determined that my mood, depressive episodes and anxiety may be hormone related. I'm 44 and feel like absolute and utter shyt most of the time. Terrified that this is it...this is the rest of my life?
I exercise, try to eat well, try to get decent sleep, but nothing is working anymore to relieve any of it. When I'm told to improve my sleep...I want to scream. I've researched and tried every solution known to include 'sleep hygiene'. I don't feel me anymore.
I've have 30+ vials of blood taken with nothing alarming so far, but with small random anomalies and ton of radiology appointments. But yet, the constant symptoms and feeling like garbage continues. Guessing I'm perimenopausal and I can only gather if I feel this bad at 44 - what can this mean for my health? I feel like I'm aging rather poorly and at an accelerated rate.
Between my bowels, digestive issues, ductal ectasia and bloody nipple discharge, hair loss, weight gain, can't sleep (even with meds), migraines, tinnitus, dizziness, blood pressure fluctuations, heart palpitations, fatigue...no stamina, no endurance. I'm just not living anymore. I just spend 24 hrs a day managing shyt symptoms and getting by.
To think I get to spend what's supposed to a part of my life where I'm thriving and instead going to the doctors terrified is even more depressing. I don't have anyone to talk to that understands and I don't know anyone experiencing this in my age group. My female friends are not experiencing this and so I don't share because I know they'll think I'm a nutter.
I can't tell what symptoms are troubling or not because they are random and significant on some days.
I don't have a decent doctor to go to where I live now, but will be moving to the east coast soon.
I'm just feel terrified of the future. Don't know where to turn. I'm sure I sound like a nutter.