This might be a long post. But please...bear with me,I'm honestly at my end. Firstly I'll start with a quick description of my life with anxiety. I'm 35,started with panic attacks not long after I had my son at 19. But to be honest,as a child I was always very anxious and scared,cant think why because nothing bad ever happened to me to feel like it. Not long after I had panic attacks I was put on prozac(fluoxetine 20mg), been on them ever since. They did make the panic attacks go,only ever had them every once in a while. Started with health anxiety then,that's been going on for years. Let's say it made the panic attacks go but then my anxiety started on something else,its been like that ever since. Recently though I've had a problem that really is the worst since the panic attacks. Feels like them,but not 100% the same if u know what I mean. It started July 2020,started getting this weird cant breathe feeling accompanied with a tight restricted stomach/diaphragm. Felt horrible as it came with this awful panic dreaded fear feeling. Like a sheet of pure dread came over me. This only happened every other day to begin with. Went away for a bit then came back again March/April this year. Started getting worse and worse. I'd have it at anytime of day or night but usually it would gradually subside. Then I started to notice something,it would feel worse or stronger after I had alcohol. The morning after I'd feel all snotty and congested,like I was getting a cold. Then throughout the day I'd notice my tight stomach panic feeling escalated to a near full on panic/anxiety attack,like it was reaching its peak. At first I thought I might be allergic to the sulphates or histamines in wine,with the snotty nose etc. So I tried changing to sulphate free wine(bloody expensive) ...nope made no difference. Now,I know alcohol and anxiety and antidepressants don't mix. But I'm not someone who goes out binging. I have a couple of glasses of wine at home with my partner at the weekend. Maybe once midweek,not all the time. Admittedly I used to go mental in my 20s but I never had this awful anxiety feeling with alcohol the day after as I do now,and I drink less,plus it can happen without even drinking.I had to write this post as in the last couple of weeks I've had two episodes of anxiety that have scared me shitless. Monday two weeks ago go into town with my partner,felt that feeling in my stomach,but just got on with it. Got worse. Then I started getting this swishing feeling in my head. Like my brain is a wet sloppy sponge slopping about. Then came this floating feeling,almost like I was coming out of my body. Throw in all the usual of cant breathe,easily startled,fear. I had to get away from people. I honestly felt like I was gonna pass out walking home. In the week that followed was OK, after that,still the odd anxiety wobble but nothing on that level. Not until this Sunday...
Oh my god. Woke up fine, then could feel it building up. Got the floaty feeling. It just got worse and worse. It wasn't subsiding this time either. It turned into a full blown panic attack in the car. How my poor partner managed to drive with me like that I'll never know. Along with all the usual symptoms my fingers tingled,I felt like I was "slipping away" if that makes sense. Like my panic and anxiety was literally gonna boil over until I exploded.Just even the forward movement of the car was making my panic worse. Its now Tuesday,and feeling is still here. Comes in waves. Had to try and sleep with it last night,that was awful. I suppose what I'm looking for is someone who's been in the same situation. Did it ever go away? What was the link to it? Is it alcohol that makes me like this? How did u handle it? I'm just honestly sick of it now. Just to feel normal again.
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