I've been a long sufferer of health anxiety and depression and the last couple months have been rough to say the least. I know to some, animals are not something to get upset about, or deeply affected by, but I'm a huge animal lover and they are family to me. 1st November, we lost one of our cats, who had been fighting a rare blood disorder, and kept losing weight until he couldn't eat anymore, and then we had to have him put to sleep. That was really hard, as it had been about 4 years since my last animal had died. I have 3 dogs and 4 cats now, and my Samoyed Husky/Golden Retriever cross was just diagnosed with cancer.

Back in October, I noticed his glands under his neck were swollen, like 2 golf balls. So, he was booked in for a biopsy, and one in his groin too. Stress of waiting for that, then finding out it was inconclusive. Then the stress of him having to have another one (just his neck this time), and coming back yesterday as having cancer.

The vet said about Chemotherapy but it would be stressful him having to come in for bloods, and other things maybe up to twice a week. And he hates the vets, he gets stressed, upset and it disrupts his routine which he likes a lot. So the vet said if it were her dog, she would do palliative, which is what we chose, and he is on Prednicortone for pain relief and to reduce the lumps a little.

Their was no cancer found in the groin lumps, and she said they had shrunk by half which surprised her. So I don't know what to make of that, especially with how large the lumps on his neck are. I'm in a lot of shock at the moment, and I'm bursting out crying at random times, and I'm trying not too so he doesn't sense my distress or that something is wrong.

He doesn't like to be moddle coddled, he is very much a alpha dog, likes doing his own thing, doesn't like fussing, hates anything out of the ordinary, loves walking and meeting new dogs and running, Running and running and eating. He loves his food.

I don't know what I'm trying to ask, or if I'm asking at all. Maybe if anyone has had experience with this, or what may help him. The vet said the chemo would only give him maybe 6 months, but because how much it stressed him out going to the vets, how much it takes to just get him inside a vets as well, was too stressful for him and it may only give him 6 months, but it would be 6 months of constant chemo and coming in every week or twice. On palliative, they said hopefully get him over the Christmas, but that they will give us supplements and probiotics and any other injections he needs without him having to come in often just to help when the medication isn't enough and it comes to that time.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed after just losing our cat a month ago, and now this. I'm trying my best to looks up things to help, like Milk Thistle, low carb/no sugar high protein and omega fatty acid food for him to eat. Bringing him for a different walk everyday, letting him enjoy long walks at the sea, forest, parks, etc. I just feel like I should be doing more.

Sorry, I just wanted to write this out somewhere as I really have no one to speak to about this except my mum really. My dad doesn't care, he's not an animal man, he's very cold and cut off from these types of things. It doesn't effect him basically, so its non-existent trying to get comfort or advise from him.

I just want more time with my dog, him to have more time at least, that even with palliative, he may get longer than the vet said...I'm just trying to cling on desparately for him. He's only 8 years old.