Anxiety when someone goes away.

[Darksky]

We can have days on end when we feel rubbish, but it will pass as it all does. Well done on not letting it stop you though

i felt the earthquake too. I thought my OH was banging around upstairs and didn’t realise until I saw the news. I also felt one in the 80s.Weird experience as you say.

[LittleLionMan]

We can have days on end when we feel rubbish, but it will pass as it all does. Well done on not letting it stop you though

i felt the earthquake too. I thought my OH was banging around upstairs and didn’t realise until I saw the news. I also felt one in the 80s.Weird experience as you say.

Yeah, I do keep reminding myself it will pass, I just find it difficult when I can’t see or find any rhyme or reason for it.

The earthquake was really strange. I live about 2 miles away from the epi-centre. Whenever I’ve thought about an earthquake, I always thought about everything shaking around me… didn’t consider that it would be me shaking as well! Haha!

[pulisa]

You're doing really well, Phil. Don't keep looking for those reasons though? The fact that you're not letting anxiety stop you from doing things you want to do is great progress.

I didn't know about the earthquake...Must have been a very weird experience!

[LittleLionMan]

I find it so hard not to. I can stop myself if it’s just fleeting anxiety, that’s something I’ve got a lot better at, but when it’s being in a tangle for days at a time, it’s hard to wonder what’s going on. It could just be that I’m tired and run down to be honest that’s weakened my guard, it’s been a long week for me.

It was a very strange experience, I was just getting up out of my office chair as it hit, and it felt like someone had just pulled the carpet from under me, very odd.

[LittleLionMan]

I’ve got this situation again again this weekend, but a worse scenario, and I’ve been doing so much better lately, that it’s worrying me this will be a setback that I just don’t need.

[pulisa]

Try not to set yourself up for "failure", Phil..."Worry"/"setback"/ "worse scenario" are all things which haven't happened....Only in your anxious mind.

You've been doing so much better lately...Hang on to this not the same old negative "predictions"?

[LittleLionMan]

It’s just so frustrating.
I would be hopeful, but I’ve already had 2 pretty bad days in anticipation, and they haven’t even left yet.
I’ve honestly been doing so much better, but my head has gone with this one.

[pulisa]

If you say so...You know anticipatory anxiety is the worst bit.

[LittleLionMan]

It’s just a difficult one for me that I’ve got to try and get through, and then hope I can continue my progress I think. I have plenty of ‘distractions’ for the weekend, so hopefully I get lost in one of them for at least a short spell to give myself a break.

* they have just left, and the first panic is in full swing, long weekend ahead. 🤦*♂️

[Munki]

Hey! I'm sorry to hear you struggle with anxiety. It's an interesting question because I went through this just a week ago.

My husband never goes away but he went to a work-related award ceremony for the night. I thought I was fine (and actually looking forward to the break) yet I found myself an anxious wreck for the 2 days prior.

I busied myself by staying at my Moms for the night and a friend came over too - it was actually really lovely!

My advice would be, if you know that they're going away for a short period, make a few small plans to catch up with people, delve into a great book, cook and eat some lovely food, binge on some great Netflix etc. Honestly, you can really turn it into something quite lush if you allow yourself the time to step back from your thoughts. Remember, they are JUST thoughts!

I've found that one of they key threads with anxiety is that we become all engrossed in our emotions. Sometimes, it's really useful to have an unemotional response. You might think that's impossible. It actually isn't, but requires a bit of training.

One morning, say to yourself that you're not going to respond emotionally to things that you hear. Obviously, if its something major that occurs (ill relative or animal etc), then it isn't possible. But in terms of everything else, hear the words being said to you as just that, words! Don't allow yourself to digest the words beyond merely hearing them - I sometimes say to myself - I am a robot! Yep, sounds mad but it works for me!

Once you fine tune this, you're less affected over time by the actions of others. It also allows you to get to know YOU a little better.

Self-reflect a bit. What do YOU enjoy doing? What would YOU like to spend a couple of days doing?

Shift focus from the person leaving to what YOU might want to do with some lovely free time

I hope that helps a little. x