Anxiety when someone goes away.

[Carnation]

So are you saying its more of a desertion issue leaving you rejected and depressed? Or an anxiety situation of fuelled fear of symptoms and thoughts?
I'm still not clear on the suffering side of how you feel. You just say it's all too much.

[LittleLionMan]

It’s an anxiety situation, my fears just latched on to it. Then as I was getting panicky after one trip, it was making me more fearful of the next until it put me in the place I’m in now.

[LittleLionMan]

I think what happens is I retreat and go on guard. I know it’s completely the wrong response, but if it’s just a couple of days, I bounce back and have got away with it in the past, but because I’ve been retreating for a few months now, it’s going to be that much harder to recover. I’m scared of doing stuff that might ‘rock the boat’ and awaken the anxiety… so I end up cowering in my room, doing nothing but wrestling with anxiety.

[Carnation]

So it's a state of high anxiety. Cowering in your room is your safe place in your mind. And this has formed a habit.
Have you tried not going to your safe place when you feel the Anxiety? Have you ever challenged your thoughts? Have you given yourself a plan for the weekend? It won't change unless you make some changes.

[LittleLionMan]

Yeah, constant high anxiety… I didn’t know anxiety could be this relentless to be honest, and I’m struggling to turn it off at all.

I’m constantly challenging thoughts, tried to get out of the room at much as possible, and am refusing to back down from any of it, but it just doesn’t help.

[LittleLionMan]

I’m hoping it’s just because these events have been so overwhelming that it’s just going to take a bit of time, but I’m not confident.

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Like I said in my earlier post PHR, don’t be impatient with time, it didn’t come overnight and it’s not going to go overnight, it might takes days or weeks for your body to start desensitising where you start feeling a little better but you have to try and stop adding fuel to the already roaring fire by keep worrying about it or running away from it, practice, practice, practice of acceptance, yes you may crumble many times, we all do, but you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again, eventually your brain accepts there is no danger and things gradually start settling down, but only you can do it, with a little help from your friends xx

[Carnation]

Your mistake is returning to your 'safe place' time and time again. You have to carry on with your chores, what you are doing even if you feel the Anxiety. The brain, after time recognises there is no threat. It's by no means easy but it's the only way. You are not going to improve anything by lying in bed.

[LittleLionMan]

Yeah, I think I’m trying to hard in the wrong way, I’ve honestly given it everything today and I’m ruined, which is probably counter productive. I think I need to concentrate more on the being and less on the doing.

As in carrying on doing things, but calmly and persisting.

[LittleLionMan]

Which Claire Weekes book would you recommend I listen to?