Tattoo anxiety - appointment tomorrow

[BlueIris]

So, to get the basics out of the way:

1. Yes, of course I want it, I've wanted this particular one for around three years now.
2. Yes, I have two others, I know roughly what to expect.
3. No, I'm not afraid of needles.
4. Yes, I'm definitely looking forward to it.

However, after a brief scare when I thought the appointment was going to be cancelled, crap just got real and the nausea and shakes have kicked in. My last tattoo experience was a bit of a nightmare; the artist was yelling at me and making threats about what would happen if I didn't relax muscles I hadn't even known I was tensing. I landed up with a beautiful piece of artwork and some seriously traumatic memories.

This time round I've found a lovely female artist, and today she gave me a preview of what she drew up from the references I gave her. It's beautiful, it makes my heart sing and I'm struggling not to show it to everyone I know.

Anxiety always finds a way, though, and I've convinced myself I'll manage to screw it up somehow and/or make myself even uglier. Annoyingly, I'm at work with a lot to be doing today and my focus isn't really the greatest.

Not particularly seeking advice or reassurance, just wanted to put it out there - even writing about how scared I'm feeling still leaves me feeling excited about it. I haven't wanted anything this much in a while, which is possibly why the fear's spiking.

[pulisa]

When are you having it done, Blue? This is surely anticipatory anxiety?

Sorry..I missed the thread title!! Sounds like you have planned meticulously for this special tattoo so don't let your self-doubts sabotage such a lovely gift to yourself?

[BlueIris]

Thanks, Pulisa.

I did work it out in the end - I'm excited rather than anxious, I'm just not used to being excited.

[pulisa]

I used to get panic attacks at football matches when it got exciting!

It will be a good day for you tomorrow and a lovely pre-Christmas treat!

[LittleLionMan]

I get anxious when a big bet is coming in.
I don’t mind, because I know what it is, but adrenaline is adrenaline I suppose!

It will all be worth it Blue!

[Catkins]

How exciting Blue! I'd love another tattoo (I have one) and would love to have an art nouveau carnation on my ankle (my mums favourite flower).

There is such a fine line between anxiety and excitement, I've definitely fallen for that one.

[Magic]

I had a tattoo the side of my let hand when I was younger. i remember how excited i felt. I expected pain but there was none
Good Luck BlueIris x

[BlueIris]

That sounds gorgeous, Catkins.

I'm getting a cute, colourful spider. Feeling vaguely guilty because my mother is arachnophobic. Not normally into spiders myself, but peacock spiders are particularly adorable.

[glassgirlw]

I want another so bad too. They’re quite addictive I’ve found lol. It also sounds like that one tat artist you had should probably find another line of work lol. It’s fantastic he’s such a good artist, but if he’s horrible at dealing with people then tattooing may not be his forte haha.

good luck!! I hope it comes out as you want!!

[BlueIris]

Thank you! It's in a few hours now, and I'm just taking the time to get myself into the right headspace.