I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

[Carys]

What would you do if you found your children doing what you are doing now, sticking pins in their body ?

You've admitted sensations from HA are the problem for 8 long years, yet have carried on anyway sticking a pin into your back........... You need to talk with your doctor (and NOT about an imaginary set of sensations or perceptions of a spinal tumour that has appeared overnight.) For some reason you want to continue down this route and I can't honestly work out why.

[Chlobo]

What would you do if you found your children doing what you are doing now, sticking pins in their body ?

You've admitted sensations from HA are the problem for 8 long years, yet have carried on anyway sticking a pin into your back........... You need to talk with your doctor (and NOT about an imaginary set of sensations or perceptions of a spinal tumour that has appeared overnight.) For some reason you want to continue down this route and I can't honestly work out why.

I don't want too carry on down this route. I promised myself after the breast stuff it would stop.
But again it's the 'what if this time it's real'

Do you think it's okay it didn't hurt when the needle went in? I mean I've never stuck a needle in my back area before but there was one bit which just didn't hurt, it broke the skin too. My mum actually came round as I rang her in a panic. She's made me Chuck the needles into the bin which I have done. She also brushed her fingers over my lower back, asked if I could feel it which I could. And she said well it's fine then.

[Chlobo]

She said that sticking a needle in doesn't make sense, she said that when you get needles in your back for acupuncture it doesn't hurt. It doesn't matter if some areas don't have as many nerves as the other part.
She also said regarding my poo that she wouldn't worry about, she didn't say what she thought it was but said to try and forgot it

[Carys]

I don't want too carry on down this route.

....and yet, you still make the choice to carry on doing all the same things you've always done, throwing every ounce of energy into re enforcing the HA habits and not your CBT exercises. Its not magic that makes this go its EFFORT. I'm outta this for the time being.

[WorryRaptor]

Chlobo, you really need to stop self testing. You could actually do harm and cause an infection.

But again it's the 'what if this time it's real'

That's anxiety talking. The world is full of what ifs, and dwelling on them doesn't make them any more real.

I know that right now it feels impossible to take your focus off what you're feeling and what you think it could be, but you really need to try. Us reassuring you about perceived sensations isn't going to help, and you're only feeding the anxiety by asking for it again and again.

[Chlobo]

Chlobo, you really need to stop self testing. You could actually do harm and cause an infection.



That's anxiety talking. The world is full of what ifs, and dwelling on them doesn't make them any more real.

I know that right now it feels impossible to take your focus off what you're feeling and what you think it could be, but you really need to try. Us reassuring you about perceived sensations isn't going to help, and you're only feeding the anxiety by asking for it again and again.

Problem is I'm thinking about it constantly, whatever I'm doing it's there in the back of my mind. And the thoughts are constant and they come into my head and upset me before I can push them away, and that's if I can push them away.
As soon as I open my eyes I'm evaluating how I feel, how my bowels feel, how my lower back feels.
I've had 2 injections into my spine, one got a c section 4 years ago, and one for my first born where I had an epidural. Im not sure if i was pushing the needle into that area. I know when people do acupuncture it isn't meant to hurt and that's needles, so maybe it was just an off patch of skin that didn't have as many pain senses.
My friend said if I had a numbness issue and lack of feeling in my bowel I would just be losing control of it and it would just come out, along with other issues.
I'm just sick of these sensations cropping up and sending me into a spiral of panic. It's just the constant thought of 'this is it' this is what's going to kill me off and I just can't cope with it

[Pamplemousse]

She said that sticking a needle in doesn't make sense, she said that when you get needles in your back for acupuncture it doesn't hurt. It doesn't matter if some areas don't have as many nerves as the other part.

True story: I used to have acupuncture for back pain and yes, I never felt the needles go in.

However, one day I went for my usual session and drove back to my mum's for lunch (so this is over thirteen years ago). Whilst I was there, I became aware of an unpleasant sensation in my back - a nasty, stinging sensation. I asked Mum to have a look at my back, so lifted my t-shirt up... and she spotted that there was still a needle in my back. After removing it I drove back to the acupuncturist and made my feelings known...

[Pamplemousse]

My friend said if I had a numbness issue and lack of feeling in my bowel I would just be losing control of it and it would just come out, along with other issues.

I have occasional loss of bowel control, which is unpleasant and messy: but it is not as unpleasant as a blockage, which is an emergency situation. Believe me, you would not be on here posting about it if that was the case as you would be severely ill.

[Fishmanpa]

Anytime I've logged onto the site over the last several weeks, you're logged on and waiting for reassurance :( You have 4 young children. How can you care for them and be here waiting for replies? Is there any way you can make sure their cared for and seek help? You're self testing/self harming and that is risking the safety of your children! I'm seriously concerned for your safety and the safety of your children!

FMP

[Chlobo]

Anytime I've logged onto the site over the last several weeks, you're logged on and waiting for reassurance :( You have 4 young children. How can you care for them and be here waiting for replies? Is there any way you can make sure their cared for and seek help? You're self testing/self harming and that is risking the safety of your children! I'm seriously concerned for your safety and the safety of your children!

FMP

Yeah I'm always floating around here at the moment, it's better than googling I think.
The kids are all okay, I don't think they have picked up on anything.
I got up today, I forced myself to put some make up on and do my hair, then we went out to the shops and had some lunch, my son picked a birthday gift for his friend. So to me that was something good I did today.
I have thrown away the needles now