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Thread: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

  1. #1011
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    Aug 2014
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    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    Thank you for the replies.
    Iím scared this evening, I sometimes get a Ďweak feeling in my arm. I actually remember having it before a few years ago. Last year it happened and I rang an ambulance because it scared me so much as it happened suddenly. Iím really fixating on neurological problems and Iím getting waves of fear through my stomach. I donít feel safe, I feel so so bad. My body constantly feels strange. I am petrified of brain tumours as you all know and tonight Iím just stuck on thinking about them

  2. #1012
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    Aug 2013
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    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    Quote Originally Posted by Chlobo View Post
    Thank you for the replies.
    I’m scared this evening, I sometimes get a ‘weak feeling in my arm. I actually remember having it before a few years ago. Last year it happened and I rang an ambulance because it scared me so much as it happened suddenly. I’m really fixating on neurological problems and I’m getting waves of fear through my stomach. I don’t feel safe, I feel so so bad. My body constantly feels strange. I am petrified of brain tumours as you all know and tonight I’m just stuck on thinking about them
    Have you thought about starting the meds? I keep asking because you have a way out of the self induced torment and professionals are trying to help you yet you refuse to try! Thing is, the alternative is staying exactly where you are! Isn't at least worth a try if it will get you a step closer to some peace?

    FMP
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  3. #1013
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    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    You're doing absolutely nothing to help yourself; you're pretty much embracing your health anxiety. Have you considered the possibility that there's something else in your life, a void that the HA is filling?
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  4. #1014
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    Aug 2014
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    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    I havenít started the meds. I want too but I know how they make me feel, it isnít in my head and I feel very physically affected. I keep wondering if I can carry on without meds and maybe my brain will just cope without them? I donít know.
    Iím on a support group and people are encouraging me to take them but I canít just stick a tablet in my gob and swallow unfortunately, it just isnít how my mind works. Each day Iím building myself to try and take it.

    If my fears were totally irrational maybe I could really push myself to work on them, but reality is my fears arenít irrational. We can get sick and thereís nothing anyone can do about it. Itís the fear of the unknown and dying and death, how Iím going to die one day. It scares the crap out of me. And Iím almost convinced itíll be from cancer. I feel like a ticking time bomb. If my worries weíre about an alien landing in my back garden and beaming me up it would be a lot easier to tell myself I'm being stupid. As Nora has said a million times to me itís about accepting death and accepting illness as a possibility but I just canít, not without fear.

  5. #1015
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    Nov 2015
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    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    Each day I’m building myself to try and take it.
    This will likely only result in the fear becoming stronger every time to build it up. You need to just take it.
    I can’t just stick a tablet in my gob and swallow unfortunately
    Yes, you can. Thousands of other people with the same anxiety have done so.

    Nora has said a million times to me it’s about accepting death and accepting illness as a possibility but I just can’t, not without fear.
    It's not about not feeling fear any more. It's simply about accepting. Everybody fears the end. Nobody wants to become ill. That's just being human. But when you accept it, it doesn't have a hold over the life you do live. What's the point in sitting and fearing death other than to waste the time you have to live?

    BlueIris made a really good point, Chlobo. Have you asked yourself what void your HA could be filling?
    __________________
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  6. #1016
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    Sep 2011
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    1,735

    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    Whatís that John Wayne quote? ďCourage is being scared to death, but saddling up anywayĒ?

    It comes down to knowing that some things are uncertain, and you may have some side effects when starting the meds. But there is life on the other side of this, Chlo, and the side effects wonít last forever. You just need to saddle up and ride through.

    I understand - Iím dealing with a lot of fear and anxiety right now myself (not health related). I have to remind myself that there is life on the other side nearly a hundred times a day. But I have to push through, and I will, and you will too.

    Maybe try the meds with the knowledge that if you have side effects that you have online and in person support to help you?
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  7. #1017
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    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    Quote Originally Posted by Chlobo View Post

    If my fears were totally irrational maybe I could really push myself to work on them, but reality is my fears arenít irrational. We can get sick and thereís nothing anyone can do about it. Itís the fear of the unknown and dying and death, how Iím going to die one day. It scares the crap out of me.
    All of this is irrational, Chloe..

    People do get sick but there's a LOT that doctors (and medicine) can do (not to mention our own mentality in terms of lowering our stress levels, therefore decreasing pain and enabling healing)

    Also, getting sick doesn't mean that we will die from whatever it is that we have. The reality is the opposite. Generally we get sick and don't die. All three of my sons had life threatening illnesses/conditions as kids; none died. My brother wasn't supposed to live past ten years of age; he's in his 60s now. The NHS saved my life and my mum's. They did their best to help my dad but HE had left it too late to get help because he avoided going to the doctors. They were able to help with his pain though and he passed peacefully. It's irrational to say that 'there's nothing anyone can do'. Even with terminally ill people, doctors can do a lot to alleviate pain. My FIL and friend were terminally ill too and their pain was well managed. Both passed peacefully, and there's a lot to be said for a peaceful death. All your fears come from your imagination, rather than information and by that I mean not the kind that comes from Googling symptoms..

    Death isn't the unknown; it's going to happen and to all of us. The unknown is when and how. The alternative is that nobody ever died and the planet would soon become overcrowded with every resource exhausted and we would die out as a species. We were only ever meant to be here for a short time (short in terms of the age of the planet) and we've already beaten the odds by being faster than all the other sperms. You fought to be here. We all did. And we did it without fear..

    And Iím almost convinced itíll be from cancer. I feel like a ticking time bomb. If my worries weíre about an alien landing in my back garden and beaming me up it would be a lot easier to tell myself I'm being stupid. As Nora has said a million times to me itís about accepting death and accepting illness as a possibility but I just canít, not without fear.
    Again, not everybody dies from cancer.. (and survival rates are improving all the time)

    The life that you fought to have is being wasted by your irrational fears. Nobody is to blame for this but you. It's too easy to keep on saying, 'I can't, it's too hard'. You've yet to put the work in...

    You won't even try your medication. I have multiple chemical sensitivity but I at least try. So I have to ask... what scares you more? Feeling worse, or feeling better?
    __________________
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  8. #1018
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    Are you scared of losing your identity if you no longer worry about dying? Being at a loose end in terms of what occupies your mind?

  9. #1019
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    Nov 2009
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    7,275

    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    Everybody fears the end. Nobody wants to become ill. That's just being human. But when you accept it, it doesn't have a hold over the life you do live. What's the point in sitting and fearing death other than to waste the time you have to live?
    Acceptance is something it took me years to get to, many painful years that were lived like yours Chlobo. The sooner you get to it, acceptance, the happier and healthier you will be. I can't improve on anything Nora has said (I never can LOL), read it and read it.

  10. #1020
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    Re: I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

    Well Iíve always been this way so maybe it scares me to feel any different? Who knows, itís a puzzle even for me to try and understand.
    Iíve taken my first tablet today, no going back now. I just hope they donít make me feel like the Duloxetine did. But trial and error, we will see

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