Originally Posted by
Cptdebbie
Oh Chlobo, my heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry you are struggling so much.
I have an awesome therapist that I see regularly, but I still fall down over and over. It gets very discouraging. I have had some periods of peace over the last while though. And, for the first time, I have a hope that I will one day have mostly peace in my life. I know this will only happen with continued therapy and lots of hard work on my part.
Part of what I have had to gain peace with is that I will die. Sometime, and in some way, I am going to die. All the checking in the world isn’t going to change that. I know you have little ones and that makes the possibility of death super stressful. However, no amount of checking or reassurance from doctors is going to change the reality of life. Nothing and no one can promise you that you won’t die.
My religious beliefs have helped me gain peace with the reality of death. I also am trying to make the most of every moment I am alive instead of dwelling on negative possibilities.
This has been a really hard journey for me and just this last week I have fallen backwards and let health anxiety take over my life again. I am now trying to get back on track.
All this is to encourage you to get counseling. And, don’t be afraid to change counselors if you don’t feel like you’re improving. The road will be hard, but you and your children will be better for it.
Hugs,
Debbie