Originally Posted by
Carys
Firstly welcome to NMP ! I honestly think you've done really well to move away from the compulsions to search and research for answers under very very stressful circumstances. As you already know, as you've made that mental jump yourself, nothing except the scan and eyes of a highly trained medical expert will give you the answers you so desperately need. Waiting for tests and procedures, particularly when you have worrying symptoms, is psychologically terrifically hard. Be easy on yourself, it is understandable that you will have fear, panic and tears. I have waited for results from a very different phsyical problem for a number of weeks, which I'm not going to elaborate on, and it was the hardest few weeks I've ever encountered. I will say this to you - ground yourself as much as you can in planning future events, do mindfulness or meditation, throw yourself into any job you feel you can do, distract yourself (even if your mind is whirring at the same time) and spend quality time with those around you. Fill your time with anything 'productive' , as no amount of fear or thinking will change anything about the scan or the result. I know, I know, its so so hard and I do feel for you to be in this position, but all you can do is get through this time - AND - trust that IF your worst imaginings were to come to light (and I'm not saying that they will, because clearly at this point the consulant has a leaning towards something like ulcerative colitis !) then the medics will treat you and your life will still move onwards. I was wondering if your GP had called you already as you said they were calling today ?