Got past Christmas, now dreading the New Year

[TaleOn11]

Hey! Hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas. I had a decent enough time for what it was. I felt really anxious and, dare I say, depressed in the beginning due to pressures of "enjoying yourself" but luckily with a few drinks, I loosened up and let the enjoyment come naturally. hehe

However the one holiday I'm super dreading is the New Year. And its even worse than last year because I've spent all this year in the house and unemployed. My anxiety has increased ten fold and I've developed some outrageous beliefs that have crippled my life. And now, with the New Year coming, I'm afraid those beliefs might become permanent.

Sometimes I feel like I didn't try hard enough during this year. I've applied for many jobs, getting in contact with my work coach, did some exercise, tried balancing my diet and yet my anxiety hasn't stopped itself from getting worse. I've tried to get in contact with my therapist but he doesn't seem to active these days. I didn't revisit my GP because I feel he would've just given me the same advice to try CBT. I didn't try volunteering because I thought many places in my area were probably too uptight about COVID that they wouldn't want me (though thats probably the decision I regret the most).

Any advice on how I can improve in the 6 days I have before New Year? Its really scary for me! :(

[Fishmanpa]

The best advice I can give you is to not attach importance to the dates. Holidays are man-made. We've created significance to arbitrary days on a calendar. Sometimes it's for religious or historical reasons and to trigger business and commerce. What I've come to realize the last few years is they're just that.... another day, no different than any other day. The sun rises and sets just like every other day regardless of the day of the week or whether its a day we've made into a holiday or not.

So don't give it the significance society has given it.

FMP

[Carys]

I would agree with the above - it is more pressure you are putting on yourself, like Christmas, to 'be happy, do the right thing, have loads of fun, make things perfect'. Its a day like any other, the world will turn the day before and the day after. You don't need to 'improve in 6 days', you just need to think about how you want to move forwards from here - not based on a date but based on what is right for you. I know that self reflection is a good thing, and I guess if you need and want to set targets then that can be helpful too but to imagine that a date changing on a calendar 'makes things permanent' is false. You can change direction, adapt, start afresh at any time.

[fishman65]

I used to fall into this trap all the time at Christmas/new year. Much more so before I met Mrs F and became her carer, when I was required back on the building site. But we do build these dates up into 'pivotal landmarks' if that makes sense. The fuss over Xmas/NYE/NYD is ridiculous, its just another series of winter days, or summer days if in the southern hemisphere.

[Lencoboy]

I agree with you all in many ways.

Whilst I'm no killjoy by any means, I've now started to wonder why we have always singled out specific days of the year when in reality they're just another day like any other. And not just Christmas, New Year's, etc.

I never forget all the hyped-up excitement building up to the moment the clock struck midnight on 31st December 1999 (when I was 22 years old). Whilst I went with the flow and got swept up in it all at the time, especially being a 'once in a lifetime' moment, the year 2000 (and pretty much every other year that followed it) didn't really turn out to be that special in the grand scheme of things. Nothing really more than the first digit starting with a 2, plus more of the same old same old.

In terms of general fashions and trends, it seems that we've very much been stuck in some kind of timewarp since then, with nothing really new or distinctive, unlike most of the decades that came before the 2000s.

[Lencoboy]

I think the interim 7-day period between Christmas Day and New Year's Day can be rather problematic for many, especially as one's usual routine is often disturbed and out of whack, plus of course many of us have rather a tendency to lose track of what day it is, often as a consequence of the former, in fact.

But probably come a week tomorrow (Friday 7th January), almost all of us will have pretty much regained our usual routines once again.

[charlie1986]

I hate this time of year,xmas makes me more anxious...though generally I'm not a xmassy person. These days between Xmas and New year are just bizarre,I lose track of what day it is for like 2 weeks,it just makes me feel all 🤪 I start feeling abit better once January and February are over,then I know we are heading into spring,longer days and nicer weather to look forward to.

[Lencoboy]

I hate this time of year,xmas makes me more anxious...though generally I'm not a xmassy person. These days between Xmas and New year are just bizarre,I lose track of what day it is for like 2 weeks,it just makes me feel all 🤪 I start feeling abit better once January and February are over,then I know we are heading into spring,longer days and nicer weather to look forward to.

We probably lose track of what day it is during the period between Christmas Day and New Year's Day because both have always fallen on named dates. I know it sounds daft but had the former instead been on a named 'day' (e.g, the last Sunday in December), things might be a bit different, e.g, Easter Sunday, which has never normally made us lose track of what day it is, and said day sometimes even falls in late March rather than April.

[FrankT]

All I can think of is how the new year is going to be worse somehow.

[Carys]

Well, its not to my mind, and anyway lets show a bit of hope and courage. Frank, your glass is always 3/4 empty