MRI

[anxietybegone]

I have developed really bad health anxiety since having my daughter 7 months ago. In the past few months , I've convinced myself I had skin C, bowel C, throat C breast C you name it. Sometimes I worry about having one disease in the morning and ending with a different one at night , it is ridiculous. It sometimes starts with just a simple itch and then I have this compulsion to check the area for lumps which inevitably ends with me finding a small innocuous lump that was always there (my rational mind knows it is nothing to worry about ) but I will prod , prod , Google and then run to the doctors for reassurance as I can't deal with the uncertainty of it. I ended up going to the doctors so much that I got embarrassed to go back and started paying to see a private doctor miles away. My latest concern is that haemorrhoids that I've had for years that the doctor seen just over a month ago are not in fact harmless and could be anal C which i know is very rare but again the worry is taking over my life. My question is , would an MRI scan help put my mind at rest ? It will cost me a fortune but if it will make me feel better I will pay for it. I would appreciate any advice as this is awful dealing with this worry everyday. Thank you

[StephA]

Hi. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. To be honest I don’t know of any doctor who would order an MRI just to ease your mind. At least no good doctor would in my opinion. Scans shouldn’t be done unless the doctor thinks a real physical issue warrants them. Reassurance only lasts so long. Trust me I seek it too at times. I’m currently having an issue myself that I posted about. In my mind I know reassurance seeking isn’t going to help but I still want it at times. I had breast cancer which is what started my health anxiety so I understand your fears. Anyway, a clear MRI may make you feel better for awhile, but as soon as you felt something else you’d question it again. If something was amiss other than anxiety your doctor would most likely pick it up. Sounds like you’ve been checked quiet often so I highly doubt your doc has missed anything. Hang in there. Oh and hemorrhoids don’t cause anal cancer.

[anxietybegone]

Thanks for replying , I'm sorry you are having issues too with anxiety , it really is awful when you are in its grip. And you're right , reassurance never lasts long. I go with a list of things to the doctor sometimes thinking if I exhaust this list I will feel happy and yes I do for a while ... until the next thing comes up. I never used to be so bad I think having a baby has changed something so that I am worrying a lot more. I cant spend my days worrying about dying or getting an illness as it is suckung all the happiness from me. I really feel for everyone going through this as it's the worst thing I have ever felt. Maybe I will hold off booking a scan , no appointment until June anyway as I'm in the UK and it will cost me over £1000. And I guess if I really did have any cancers , they would progressively get worse over time ? A therapist told me that the best way to deal with this is to stop all reassurance seeking over a graded time period so instead of going to doctor every week , to gradually decrease this over time to say once a month , once every few months etc as by keeping the reassurance cycle going it's actually helping to wire your brain to want reassurance quickly every time , he said it's uncomfortable waiting and anxiety inducing but it HAS to be done to break the cycle.

[ErinKC]

I could have written this at 7 months postpartum. I had crippling postpartum anxiety and went through all of what you are doing. I'd go to different urgent cares to avoid the embarrassment. Postpartum anxiety is very common and not talked about enough. Is there someone you can speak to about that? I spoke first to my primary care doctor and she recommended therapy. She also recommended an SSRI but I tried therapy first and that worked after a few weeks to help me start settling down. But I suffered for a year before getting that help. Some days I'd just sit and stare at my daughter and cry and cry. Many people say you just get the "baby blues" for a few days after giving birth, but so many women suffer for months and months and no one checks in on them. Doctors should be looking for this and noticing it when they see women coming in over and over with new worries, but they just don't. I would call your doctor and say you think you're suffering with postpartum anxiety - what should you do. You can get through this! My daughter is 7 now and while I still fall into anxiety now and then I made it out of this very dark time.

I would not get an MRI. I also have hemorrhoids and they got horrible after giving birth. Your doctor knows what they look and feel like and would know the difference between that and cancer and send you for scans if they thought it was necessary. Make your next doctor call about your anxiety!

[anxietybegone]

Erin your reply made me tear up. Thank you so much as you are giving me hope that I won't feel like this forever. I have also on bad days just looked at my daughter (who is such a happy and chilled out little baby) and cried as I feel I should be happier and I'm missing out because of this anxiety. I did mention to my doctor about health anxiety and she referred me to an online cbt course but it is very generic and you don't get to speak to a therapist. It's not working for me so I have taken it upon myself to book private therapy sessions online with a real therapist so I really hope this works for me. I have bought every book ever written on health anxiety and one that really helps me is called Needing to know for SURE a self help guide to compulsive checking and reassurance seeking. However I definitely need therapy as well. Thank you

[ErinKC]

Good luck!! The first year as a mom is so difficult for so many reasons but it will get better! I hope that therapy is a success for you! <3

[Allochka]

Oh my, you describing me after giving birth... I was hypochondriac before that, but it was never that bad. But postpartum anxiety hit me hard. A lot is talked about postpartum depression (and rightfully so), but unfortunately not about anxiety.

I my case I worried about daughter mostly. In the end SSRIs helped tremendously and I am now doing much better.
So, first of all, you DO NOT have cancer, you have hemorroids. And MRI is not used for anal cancer checks. You'd need colonoscopy, a way more invasive procedure, and totally unnecessary in your case.
Second - please get help with anxiety, otherwise it could spoil a wonderful motherhood. Hugs to you, I understand, I really do, and I regret those days so much! I regret I didn't start on SSRIs sooner.
Third - as all other poster already mentioned, reassurance won't help for long. We know that from experience. Moreover, succumbing to reassurance seeking only helps fuelling further health anxiety.As some people say - we should make a leap of faith, skip reassurance and believe that we are fine health-wise. Unfortunately anxiety will get stronger at the start, but then will inevitably decrease.
Third - anxiety WILL get better, with therapy, or SSRIs, or simply self-help and hormones getting in order. You will make it, dear, it will be all right!
Hugs,
Alla

[anxietybegone]

Oh my, you describing me after giving birth... I was hypochondriac before that, but it was never that bad. But postpartum anxiety hit me hard. A lot is talked about postpartum depression (and rightfully so), but unfortunately not about anxiety.

I my case I worried about daughter mostly. In the end SSRIs helped tremendously and I am now doing much better.
So, first of all, you DO NOT have cancer, you have hemorroids. And MRI is not used for anal cancer checks. You'd need colonoscopy, a way more invasive procedure, and totally unnecessary in your case.
Second - please get help with anxiety, otherwise it could spoil a wonderful motherhood. Hugs to you, I understand, I really do, and I regret those days so much! I regret I didn't start on SSRIs sooner.
Third - as all other poster already mentioned, reassurance won't help for long. We know that from experience. Moreover, succumbing to reassurance seeking only helps fuelling further health anxiety.As some people say - we should make a leap of faith, skip reassurance and believe that we are fine health-wise. Unfortunately anxiety will get stronger at the start, but then will inevitably decrease.
Third - anxiety WILL get better, with therapy, or SSRIs, or simply self-help and hormones getting in order. You will make it, dear, it will be all right!
Hugs,
Alla

I just want to say thank you so much for your kind words. This actually made me feel better after reading it and I will come back and keep reading it. Anxiety is horrible , it makes you second guess everything even doctors. I have started taking Ashwaghanda , so far it helps but I know I need to do a lot of work myself too and also concentrate on being happier with my life in general. I'm an artist , and I haven't painted for so long and I feel I have lost a bit of my identity and I have struggled with this but I love being a mum. I already have two older boys and there was a big gap between them and my daughter so I am a bit older now and I am finding it harder this time. I really appreciate all your kind words I'm sending love and warm energy to you all as you have helped me just by understanding. Much love

[Allochka]

Thank you!
Please keep this positive spirit and determination. But do not kick yourself too hard when you get HA relapse (we all get them, it is inevitable). But if you work on it, each relapse is shorter and easier to control, not so consuming anymore.
Nowadays I still do get imagined health scares, but they do not last long - couple of days maybe, I’m capable to logically talk myself out of them.
So will you :-)