Am I depressed or is it genuine problems ?

[pulisa]

Bizarre becomes the norm with autism, doesn't it? The school will be able to cope as they have loads of staff. It's just you at home..No wonder you are knackered. No breaks/weekends/ holidays to recover..

[Sar89]

Certainly not with me! I have never got any happy feelings from exercise either and neither has my daughter. Quite the opposite. If you enjoy swimming then maybe think about getting back to that during the school term when you can pick a quiet time? I think for me getting a punch bag would be more of an option!

It's definitely a matter of having the patience of a saint with an autistic child. "Relentless" certainly sums it up and it takes its toll mentally and physically. When you're on your own emotionally with it it's even harder and people don't get it. They will never get it because they've never experienced it so it's not their fault. It's taken me years not to get angry about this. You're so deeply involved and your world revolves around it. With your own MH issues to contend with as well it's a matter of survival at all costs. Your boy is lucky to have you fighting his cause...because you love him and you care despite what you say about your parenting skills xx

Hello Pul, God Iv got tears dribbling down my face I really do need to pull myself together. Tiny things causing me to burst into tears. Funny enough it’s not things that should make me upset it’s like random acts of kindness or nice words that make me cry 🤷🏻*♀️ Isn’t exercise awful… my friend asked me did I want to climb up snowdonia the other day… honestly it’s like she doesn’t know me at all. Why on earth would I want to walk for bloody hours in the freezing cold. Absolutely not no. Also what am I supposed to do with the child. There’s no way I’m taking him up a mountain he would probably run away to live with the mountain goats 🙄 Yea I’m deffo going to give swimming a crack although I will have to wear one of those awful caps because Iv had blond balayage added to my hair and I’m sure chlorine isn’t good for it ? My problem (that I’m sure has become apparent recently &#129315 is I do not have the patience of a saint… or very much at all. I have to go against my instincts every day to parent him. I have never met a child like him although I do take comfort that I’m not alone when I speak to other parents with kids with asd. I absolutely despise people who ask me what his talent is. Some people seem to think all people with autism are like the rainman… not realising that some people with autism have serious learning difficulties. Or people who say ‘oh we are all a little bit autistic’. No… no we are not! Makes me want to throat chop them. You are right though about the anger it’s not peoples fault because they don’t understand, I never understood till I did. I just need to put a cap on the anger that’s bubbling up in me recently. Xx

[pulisa]

Hello Pul, God Iv got tears dribbling down my face I really do need to pull myself together. Tiny things causing me to burst into tears. Funny enough it’s not things that should make me upset it’s like random acts of kindness or nice words that make me cry 路*♀️ Isn’t exercise awful… my friend asked me did I want to climb up snowdonia the other day… honestly it’s like she doesn’t know me at all. Why on earth would I want to walk for bloody hours in the freezing cold. Absolutely not no. Also what am I supposed to do with the child. There’s no way I’m taking him up a mountain he would probably run away to live with the mountain goats  Yea I’m deffo going to give swimming a crack although I will have to wear one of those awful caps because Iv had blond balayage added to my hair and I’m sure chlorine isn’t good for it ? My problem (that I’m sure has become apparent recently &#129315 is I do not have the patience of a saint… or very much at all. I have to go against my instincts every day to parent him. I have never met a child like him although I do take comfort that I’m not alone when I speak to other parents with kids with asd. I absolutely despise people who ask me what his talent is. Some people seem to think all people with autism are like the rainman… not realising that some people with autism have serious learning difficulties. Or people who say ‘oh we are all a little bit autistic’. No… no we are not! Makes me want to throat chop them. You are right though about the anger it’s not peoples fault because they don’t understand, I never understood till I did. I just need to put a cap on the anger that’s bubbling up in me recently. Xx

Rainman's got a lot to answer for! Your boy sounds like a little dynamo with limitless batteries..which all adds up to sheer exhaustion and burn out. Is respite care an option? It's not for everyone and not possible for everyone but the school may offer some sort of overnight/respite care package?

[Sar89]

Bizarre becomes the norm with autism, doesn't it? The school will be able to cope as they have loads of staff. It's just you at home..No wonder you are knackered. No breaks/weekends/ holidays to recover..

And yea bizarre does become the norm. His behaviour has become a family joke I’m always getting sent funny meme pictures and videos like look Sarah it’s the baby 🤣 the school are great to be fair they are so good with him. His nursery was too it was mainstream though and they where hopelessly out of their depth with him behaviour wise but they where so helpful with the battle to get him all the therapies and ehcp in place and a place in a suitable school.
You know what it sounds awful but I despise the weekends sometimes they just seem to go on foreverrrr. I get used to it when it’s school holidays and I have to say on actual holiday he’s fantastic he’s got a real joy de vivre towards life he just goes through full throttle and lives for the moment… I love that about him. The joy he takes in things. On holiday he’s the happiest little boy ever. He loves the water and he’s just in it all holiday. He especially loves the sea but he does treat the sand like an all you can eat buffet so you have to be careful with that lol. When the sun is shining that boy is straining to go outside he’s a real nature boy x

[pulisa]

You love your boy wholeheartedly, there's absolutely no doubt about that. Transitioning from school day to weekend is always tricky. You do get used to the continuity of school holidays. My 2 both miss the routine of a school day and predictability.

[Sar89]

You love your boy wholeheartedly, there's absolutely no doubt about that. Transitioning from school day to weekend is always tricky. You do get used to the continuity of school holidays. My 2 both miss the routine of a school day and predictability.

How would you say their lives are now Pulisa ? Are they independent of you or would you classify them as vulnerable ? I don’t know how you coped with two of them. If I had 2 of r baby I would be carted off to nuthouse… also I probably wouldn’t have a house left either 🙄 😚

[Sar89]

Rainman's got a lot to answer for! Your boy sounds like a little dynamo with limitless batteries..which all adds up to sheer exhaustion and burn out. Is respite care an option? It's not for everyone and not possible for everyone but the school may offer some sort of overnight/respite care package?

that’s him.. the Duracell bunny. I don’t know to be honest it’s never been suggested to me xx

[pulisa]

How would you say their lives are now Pulisa ? Are they independent of you or would you classify them as vulnerable ? I don’t know how you coped with two of them. If I had 2 of r baby I would be carted off to nuthouse… also I probably wouldn’t have a house left either  

They both still live at home. Different challenges now as adults. I did actually end up in a psych hospital when my daughter was 4 and again at 6. She was actually banned from visiting me as she was so wild!My son was born with missing bits and pieces and spent a lot of time in Great Ormond Street. It's not been easy but I'm still standing as is the house albeit battle-scarred!

[Sar89]

She sounds just like my Stephen. You would think he had been raised by chimps. He is for want of a better word feral 🤣 I’m looking at him now sleeping peacefully looking so cute with his soft little cheeks and it’s hard to believe what a menace he can be. He will probably wake up at around 2am ready to start his day I’m very suspicious that he took himself off to bed at 9.30pm that’s him either sick of waking up in the wee hours. That’s us but with alder hey! My daughter had a few issues over the years.. severe sleep apnea, an extra finger on each hand that needed to be removed, the tonsils removing then she had a socking great tumour removed from her ovary last November along with the ovary and tube itself poor love she’s only 11. Then all his appointments it’s like a second bloody home. They do a great job the kids hospitals don’t they though. Completely different environment to adult hospitals xx

[BlueIris]

Oh my goodness! Your poor baby girl!