Re: Anxiety gotten really bad
Hey, you!
I've lost close friends to my anxiety before, and it sucks. I was clingy, panicky, needy and generally a nuisance, and I got ghosted by people I thought I loved. It's horrendous, but it's also a learning curve - don't beat yourself up about it if the worst has happened. It's not your fault you're not well and that some people can't cope with that.
That said, there's no need to assume the worst quite yet. Give it a week or so, then let your inner robot take control when you send a message. It's important to sound sane and in control even if you don't feel it; as we both know, crazy is off-putting. You know your friend best, either apologise, ask if he's okay or if he wants to hang out, anything that sounds casual and considerate. If he's a real friend, he'll respond.
In the meantime, start working out ways of finding new friends - this is healthy whether or not things work out. Are there hobby groups or online communities you can join? Are you in school, college or work? Making new friends is tough but not impossible, and you don't want to be investing all your energies in one person.
Finally, the really good people will stick around. A few years back, a very close online friend had a baby and I was quietly petrified I'd lose the person I'd spoken to every day for ten years. I spent months feeling sick at the thought of it, but I kept my cool, was supportive and cheered her on like the decent human being I try to be. Guess what? We still talk pretty much every day.
You can do this, and you'll survive either way. Sending love and good wishes.
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Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett