Mammogram anxiety

[smogie]

Thankyou x

[smogie]

Really struggling to deal with the anxiety not sleeping or eating not engaging in normal stuff just can’t stop the awful thoughts intruding it’s relentless 😩😩😩

[Carys]

Tell me your worst case scenario in that results letter, and what you think that means ?

Tell me why you went for this screening mammogram ?

Put it down on here and I will tell you why your current response is out of proportion.

[smogie]

I think the letter will be a recall to the clinic for further tests which will send me totally out of control I think I will be diagnosed with cancer and that it will already have spread I see myself undergoing horrible treatment only to die anyway I was sent for for my routine screening and as soon as I read the letter the anxiety was there and it has just gotten worse and worse the original appointment was the 28th but my daughter encouraged me to bring it forward so at least it cut down the waiting time I don’t wish I hadn’t gone just wish the letter hadn’t come full stop because as soon as it did boom anxiety overdrive feel I will give myself a heart attack before the results even come I also feel really weak and pathetic for being like this

[Carys]

You are really letting your mind run away and catastrophising - and having had a cancer diagnosis myself I can tell you that your worst imaginings are not at all what happens in the VAST proportion of cases seen by consultants. There is lots you have raised here and I'll try and deal with most of it...... but do come back to me if I've missed something out. I could write about this for pages, but I'll try to be brief. I think your lack of knowledge about BC is causing some of the issue here and its filled in the gaps with the most hideous scenarios.

Ok, so you don't wish you hadn't gone - that is because you know deep inside that that mammogram saves lives. It saves lives because it finds cancers early. Even if it finds cancers late, it saves lives.

If you are having a mammogram in the standard screening programme, over 50 then it is a very high probability that even IF you were diagnosed with cancer that it would be of a certain type that is the most treatable and would have a prognosis that is so high that you could presume that you'd be treated and never have any further problems (I'm not going to go into that cancer type, as its detailed stuff and wouldn't mean much to you).

I will be diagnosed with cancer and that it will already have spread

If you already had a cancer that had spread, in the sense that you had metastatic cancer, you more than likely would already know about it. I don't know if you do manual breast checks, but even if you don't you would have 'by accident' come across symptoms and signs, you'd have found the primary source in your breast yourself and probably in your associated lymph nodes - you'd have been at the Dr already. So, if any cancer is found now it would be earlier stages. In the exceedingly unlikely event that you had metastatic/spread cancer which you were totally unaware of and had ignored all other signs and symptoms, then you wouldn't believe how many targeted treatments there are that some people even have before surgery. Metastases are reduced/some even go. This isn't the old days - these are modern medicines used by skilled people, after a massive amount of funding has allowed research to progress. The treatments are changing all the time, they have since even I was diagnosed, there are trials happening all the time and data being collated etc.

Breast Cancer is the most treatable of cancers, there are modern, effective, individually tailored plans - it is NOT like it was even a decade ago, and around you are thousands and thousands of women who have been treated and are getting on with their lives. You don't even see them because they don't have a tattoo on their heads - but - with roughly 55,000 women and men diagnosed each year, why aren't women just dropping like flies and disappearing on your street, in your workplace or amongst your friends ? 98 percent of them (I don't know if that figure is accurate incidentally, but its very high) are treated and move on.

Here s another thought for you - there are women, thousands of them, whose cancer IS a very late stage, and they are 'living with' it and its being held in check. Those women, even with metastatic cancer in a few locations are being treated - I know of some personally who have been treated for many many years as Stage 4 cancer patients and are living their lives. Yes, they have to take some medications, but they are resilient women. Even for women and men who have had cancer in their nodes there are things they can do, which I'm not detailing here.

which will send me totally out of control

You'd be amazed what you can do when you have to - I'm gonna run with your catastrophising here - and you have a primary BC diagnosis, you'd get on with it. If your surgeon and team told you that they could get rid of it, then you would do what was needed. I don't know what horror stories of treatments you have in your head, but even with the harshest chemo (something many don't need to have) you have all your symptoms treated. They don't leave you ill and suffering ! Besides you have your own personal team, you have a BC nurse at your disposal at all times and a huge range of community support. It frightening at the start, your mind goes in spirals of fears and what ifs, psychologically you go through a tough process and then you come out the other side and you get on with it.

I don’t wish I hadn’t gone just wish the letter hadn’t come full stop

Next thing to think about......Imagine if the letter hadn't come, imagine if screening didn't happen. Imagine if it was like 50 years ago, you popped along to the Dr with late stage symptoms and they said to you that you had BC and there was nothing they could do, firstly it was too late and secondly there were no treatments. How would you feel then ? Cos I'm telling you this, you'd be so devastated that you certainly would find it hard to cope then. Anybody who has recieved a diagnosis has been thankful that it was FOUND and then treated. Finding it can't be treated would be imaginably awful. Sticking your head in the sand and saying 'ignorance is bliss' just doesn't work, well it works for while, until you find out you have something and its way too late.......the regret you would feel would be horrific.

I think the letter will be a recall to the clinic for further tests

Further images and tests still don't mean BC, it can be ruling things out.....it could be tissue is dense, images aren't clear, there is something the radiographer wants to check out that turns out to be benign.

So, there we go, you get told you have BC cancer (as lets be honest here 1 in 8 women in their lives will be). The skilled NHS consultants swing into action, you get treated and hopefully thats it.

So - when your letter comes, most likely it'll all be fine as it is for most women, but if its not fine then its not dying, that is imagining things a step too far far too soon.

[smogie]

Thankyou for all this info I will keep re reading it to try and keep things in perspective I think I am so anxious as recently s couple of friends of friends have passed away from bc and were both a little older than me also a close friend of the family who had bc a few years ago has found out it has returned and they can only offer her a couple of years at the most with treatment we are all devastated for her she is only 35 it feels like it is all around and it’s bound to be my turn next in another note I thought I had some dimpling about a year ago and had both breasts examined by the doctor who couldn’t find anything the dimpling was a stretch mark ��

[Carys]

I'm sorry that you've had some worrying and ghastly experiences around you, I can see that they'd cause you to think slightly differently and with a view that this isn't something that most people get over . Statistically though even though it is tragic that some people pass from BC, it is something that majority get over, you've had a series of incidents around you that have made it seems slightly different. :( (Sadly the 35 year old lady's recurrence will probably have a very different cancer type I should imagine and one you are unlikely to have, hers is one that is very hard to treat and aggressive, the poor soul - I wish her absolutely the best and crossing fingers that she has much longer than they currently think). Yes - of course there are some stories like this, but it honestly sounds like you know more people than the average who have had a serious diagnosis. Also, remember you dont know their diagnoses, they could have been at a late stage when they decided to go and get checked or anything. You have been brave, you have done the best thing possible to ensure that you carry on being here for as long as possible, you haven't stuck your head in the sand and no matter what outcome you have in that letter you've given yourself the absolutely best chance of any diagnosis being only a blip. Remember too - its still a very big IFFFFFFFFFFF that there is anything wrong at all !!!!

The extra information about a Dr manual examination a year ago, is yet another pointer that you couldn't have advanced cancer - as for it to be advanced it would have been obvious 12 months ago !

Edited to add - treatments are voluntary, nobody has to have treatments or even do anything.

[Carys]

I see from one of your old threads, a decade ago, that you did some cbt. Did that help - are there any skills you learnt then that you could use now ?

[pulisa]

Carys' advice is simply the best, smogie. I think you did absolutely the right thing by having your routine mammogram. I know that the waiting for the letter is really hard but it's a necessary evil in order to protect and look after your breasts. We are lucky to have this life saving screening service.

[smogie]

Unfortunately not I’ve had several courses of cbt over the years and although I understand the principles and try and engage I find it hard to apply the techniques when I need them