Re: Coping with Change
Honestly, Pulisa...yes and no.
I love my friends and I do want to go and spend time with them. However, it's really not the sort of vacation I would choose to take, and I think that's where some of my frustration is coming in, because the past few vacations I've done have been with my friends and have been very geared towards what they wanted to do. Last summer was a bachlorette party, then for my 30th I visited another friend and we did do some really fun stuff but the majority wasn't really what I had in mind.
I'm really more of a get-outdoors-and-hike person, and much more of a mountains than a beach person (I burn like crazy). I do like to go to museums and do tours and stuff like that. But I am very much not into clubbing or going out to bars, I never really have been and now more than a couple of drinks messes with my stomach. And I think that's what concerns me most - I am worried a bit that it's going to turn into a lot of going to bars or doing a lot of shopping and I'm really not going to be interested in what there is to do. If we are doing those kinds of things locally at least I can go home after a bit.
There is also, naturally, the cost of the whole thing. None of them are bothered by it as they are well enough off that they don't much care. But admittedly I did find myself a bit resentful as I ran errands this past weekend, buying clothes that I need for this trip but probably wouldn't have otherwise spent money on.
And - I guess too there are other trips that I would like to go on and have planned for myself, but they seem to get pretty consistently pushed to the side in favor of various "friend" trips. I really wanted to plan a trip to the mountains with my dog, and maybe still will this fall, but can't help but thinking I could have used funds from my friends trip to do that instead, which I would probably enjoy more as it is something I personally prefer.
However, my mom thinks I should go as I've been pretty isolated - I do see my friends from time to time but a lot of the things they do now I really don't take part in (or even have access to) as they spend a lot of time up at the country club, where they are members and I am not. I think her fear is that I'll basically become more and more isolated and alone, which to be honest I understand as it's certainly been a fear of mine. But I'm wondering maybe if I would feel so resentful if they'd asked me where I wanted to go, and/or if we were going somewhere that I would have preferred. As is, they all have items they want to do while there but no one has really asked me if I have a list myself; they no doubt assume I'll go along for the ride.
__________________
On the road of experience, join in the living day. If there's an answer it's just that it's just that way.
When you're looking for space and to find out who you are...When you're looking to try and reach the stars.
It's a sweet, sweet, sweet dream; sometimes I'm almost there
Sometimes I fly like an eagle, sometimes I'm deep in despair.