Hello, I am new to this platform. Just came across it by chance. I have been feeling low, anxious, depressed, sad, for a while and worried it will develop into a breakdown. I have always had spells of anxiety or low moods but they have always been short lived. However, I can feel this is very different and I don't know what has caused this and how to deal with it. I plucked up the courage to call my GP and he was only interested to the point where I said I am not suicidal but have thoughts about self-harm. I heard no more from the GP. Through my work I have had three therapy sessions on the phone through an external party but all they do is listen and not provide much useful advice or guidance. I feel it is a waste of time and is not effective. They can only provide one more session for free.
I have started taking Hemp Oil out of desperation as I don't want to take medication from the DR as he told me I would feel horrible for around 3 weeks and would need to take the medication for a number of years. I self-harm sometimes (not that often) banging my head against the wall or hitting myself on the forehead. I am worried about the danger this can cause to my brain long term and my family seeing me do it causes me pain too. I don't want to do this but it gives me instant relief for the feelings I may have. I don't want to end up going mad and being sectioned, or losing my job, and family. I already feel I have lost my best friend as I can't communicate with him anymore as I am worried about sharing my sadness with him will be a burden.
I have a career, a home, a beautiful partner and child. Why am I feeling so sad in life???
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