Self referral ?

[Darksky]

She needs in hospital treatment Buster. This is way above your pay grade. I knows she doesn’t want to go but it’s the only place where she will get the concentrated help she needs.

[Buster70]

Sorry I keep dumping all my shite on you lot , I’m like an emotional fly tipper , I do appreciate your help but I know you all have a load to deal with yourselves , sometimes I think how good it would be to sit on a bench and actually talk to one of you then go an scream at a tree , one day none of this will matter .
Take care all

[Darksky]

Aww Buster..I’d sit all day on that bench with you and we could talk til the cows come home.

[Buster70]

The sad thing is I’d probably not say anything was wrong I’d be too ashamed of how I’m feeling , just talk about the weather and plod on , it’s a nice thought though people actually talking about things that are bothering them .
Partner isn’t well today , daughter and grandkids have been really unwell with bad coughs and temperatures, doctor says covid but tests were negative, long and short they came to our house coughing, I wasn’t happy about the visit and kept the doors wide open but what ever they have it seems she’s now got it and I’ll probably follow , wouldn’t want to be left out .
so we’ve had several talks and last year she was going through a rough time with mentalpause and chronic pain and at the same time I wasn’t doing great having lost my mum , i wanted to be close cuddling up etc and she wanted to be left alone but I kept pushing and getting upset that I felt alone , it was pretty selfish of me I should have given her some space and maybe now we’re in our fifties maybe that’s how things are , anyway she’s hurt and angry at me and the world , I’d love to see her happy again and be happy to be in my company but I know the more I push the further away she gets , I know I have to let her get over things in her own time but losing several friends and family recently I’ve become very aware of our mortality and I feel time ticking , we should be enjoying what we have now not waiting until it’s too late , and this goes for people reading this , take yourself out of your miserable comfort zone and try and do something you really want to , what’s the worst that can happen you fail and try again , I’ve taken a lot of chances the last couple of years and they’ve paid off it’s just my family life that is the stumbling block.
Right back to work got idiots to deal with . X

[Darksky]

You are right there Buster..time ticks on. I get a shock now and then when I realise I’m getting on in years. When did we become the older generation? Not old..but older. I see dresses and stuff now that I like and think God I could never get away with that now. I was looking at a leather jacket the other day and my youngest informed me I was too old to wear one

Seize the day and all that.
Off to measure myself up for my zimmer.

[pulisa]

So what do YOU really want to do, Buster?

I don't know what I would want to do even if I were free to do it.

[Buster70]

When your kids tell you you should do exactly the opposite, it payback for when they were teenagers , my daughters regularly say “ what the hell is wrong with you dad ? “ actually so do one or two neighbours , I recently converted a Raleigh chopper to electric , over 50 , 6’2 and riding the street on a chopper , and videoing myself to send to my daughters , as I get older the only plus side seems to be not giving a shite what people think , I lay on the promenade wall while away on my back looking at the clouds and I know even the dog is embarrassed that people think I’m dead or drunk, got a buyer for my chopper ( calm down Nora ) dropping it off in the Derbyshire dales it should be a nice drive .
I took a chance on these flats and it’s paid off and moving to the coast and working part time there is the dream , also touring the coast in a motorhome is still my big dream , I’d settle for just being happy and making my family happy right now .
I know I have a screw loose that will never tighten back up but you can still have hope to enjoy life , I always say enjoy the little things .

[pulisa]

I know that Russell Brand used to obsess about making a Happiness Documentary..but I don't think he's yet to complete it or even get started!

I think being contented with life is more realistic for us? How on earth could you ever be responsible for making your family happy? What would that mean to you anyway? You'd probably wonder what was up if everyone was smiling and appearing happy?

[Buster70]

My life is utter misery , I have a partner who I don’t think has any feelings for me anymore , one daughter who I worry about because she’s struggling for money because her other half has put them in debt meaning she’s borrowed off us and has no hope of paying us back and the other daughter who works full time borrows money off us because she doesn’t want to break into her savings , I can’t talk to my partner because she says I’m questioning her , this evening she burst into tears and when I ask what I can do to help her , again angry because I’m asking , I’m in tears most days at some point which even I know is not right , I just don’t want to wake up tomorrow

[Carnation]

Don't say things like that Buster, it helps no one.
I know you struggle but it's better than the other option.
They also say that about getting older.
I'm sure they'll be some who will disagree with me though.