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Thread: Self referral ?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    16,747

    Re: Self referral ?

    I'm glad that you've seen the GP and that you are getting checked out physically. It's best to rule any physical problems out before taking on the MH minefield.

    Maybe separation could work better for you both and give you some space to have a think about what you both want? You did seem very unhappy with how things were and how you were treated.

    Let us know how you are doing, won't you? I think you have made a very positive move in getting things moving re tests and MH support. Use the Samaritans if you find they help and are kind. Even if they can't solve the things you want solving..There are still decent compassionate people out there who will always listen to you and alleviate some of the mental burden. Take care, Buster

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    1,973

    Re: Self referral ?

    Hi all , there seems to be a level below rock bottom, Ive now had ecg which was okay and blood tests which will be back in ten days , i also have a telephone assessment with metal health in July .
    I still feel low and a bit hopeless most days , I come and go from the family house to my other place depending how things are , I’m trying to give my partner more space and try to be less reliant on her and stop worrying myself sick about her health and state of mind which I have no control over , she stayed at the coast alone last week which I think is a good thing for both of us .
    Since last week I’ve had an obsessive customer who messages me at least 15 times a day and when I said buy elsewhere and stop contacting me he just purchased something expensive and paid so I’d have to deal with him ,it stressed me out so much I felt like chucking my phone in the bin .
    Since my birthday I’ve been getting gradually more poorly each day , run down and snotty nose , ear ache and my bloody wisdom tooth has swelled up , today it’s spread to my chest with a bad cough so I haven’t left the house at all , then this morning a scream from the garden from my partner that the dog had collapsed, she was just laying on her side in the rain not moving , I carried her in thinking she was dying , she’s nearly 16 so we agreed it was best to just keep her here instead of the vets which would upset her , through the day she had picked up but I know we won’t have her much longer .
    Im struggling to breath this evening asthma and coughs ain’t great together, I’ve taken a covid test to be sure and that’s clear .
    Im so determined to come on here one day and be a success story but right now it’s hard to see , this time next year eh ?

  3. #13
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,634

    Re: Self referral ?

    Sorry you’re going through it still Buster. Do you think all your pains might be connected to your wisdom tooth. Not going to mention the D word but it may be advisable.

    I hear you regarding your Staff, it’s the worst when you know it’s coming. Closer and closer…I call it living in hells waiting room. I’ve been through it so many times and it never gets easier. I almost feel a sense of relief when it’s over, the distress it causes me is immense.

    One day, somewhere over that bloody rainbow, it will be better for you, for all of us. We’ve just got to hang in there. The devil in me loves giving you hugs cos I know you hate them.
    __________________
    It’s a cruel beast that you feed…..

    Ghost…Spillways

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    1,973

    Re: Self referral ?

    Yeah it did occur to me the tooth and ear may be the same problem but still painful and looking at the angle of my wisdom tooth you’d need a jackhammer to get that out , hopefully it will calm back down .
    The old girl was back on her feet and eating again today so who knows why she collapsed yesterday but it was very upsetting, I kid myself I’ll be ready when she goes but I know I won’t it will break my heart again even though she’s been a pain in the rrr’s since we got her .
    I’ve not stopped coughing all day today and what’s coming up ain’t going to win and beauty contests , I can’t remember the last time I stayed in for two whole days but Ive got no energy .
    Dont get me wrong I do love a good hug but I’m picky who I get them off , my daughters have grown up so close death would be necessary, my grandson is seven so he has to be asked or bribed, my granddaughter and I have a close bond so she’s quite happy to hug me at 11 but will it last , man hugs are definitely out of the question , my dad would have rather shot me than hug me but it was an improvement on the beatings his dad gave him .
    We live in hope .

  5. #15
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: Self referral ?

    My son once said that he'd rather stab himself than give me a hug! He's certainly not touchy feely but that's fine by me.He may prod my corpse in death in a show of affection

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    10,623

    Re: Self referral ?

    Giving you a hug too Buster
    I can definitely say a bad tooth can make you feel really rotten. Can cause headaches, earache, low energy and flu like symptoms. Have you tried a warm salt water wash Buster. The old remedies work the best. Get some vicks for the chesty cough. You are always rushing around for others Buster, take time out for yourself for a change.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    4,918

    Re: Self referral ?

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    My son once said that he'd rather stab himself than give me a hug! He's certainly not touchy feely but that's fine by me.He may prod my corpse in death in a show of affection
    Whereas my autistic son is a proper space invader. He hugs me so hard it physically hurts.

    I did laugh at the 'prods corpse in death in a show of affection' line. I think that's rather sweet myself...

    Did some grandma time at the weekend. All three grandkids were there. The youngest had got one on her, middle one is teething - toddler boy was tired...

    Youngest suddenly started wailing when I had her. She was passed back to her Mummy with Ninja speed.
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

  8. #18
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    Feb 2016
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    1,973

    Re: Self referral ?

    Hi , sorry I’ve not been on again , thank you for the hugs , life has been a struggle again , my daughters didn’t get my partner anything for her birthday which upset her so I said they shouldn’t get me anything either so they didn’t and I didn’t get Father’s Day cards either or see them , they know how to kick you when you’re down , I’ve been staying at home sometimes or at our other place were I mainly work now or at the coast which sounds like a great life but it’s anything but , my partner has spent four or the last six weeks at the coast and I’ve been coming home to work then driving back at weekends , I thought it would do her good but she said she still crys everyday and still feels suicidal, when I bring her home she gets worse straight away and the slightest thing will start an argument, today she was very low so I tried to give her some space but this evening after I’d walked the dogs she said she’d took a handful of pills this morning then been sick , she’s seeing her psychiatrist Thursday and he’s said they will do a liver test while she’s at the surgery.
    I feel so hopeless and helpless , I’m sure before long I will lose her and I don’t know how to help , she needs rest and a break from all of us , I have upset her and so have my daughters and our old dog won’t leave her alone so she’s up every night letting her out , I always offer to take the dog with me to give her a break but she insists she’s her responsibility.
    I genuinely don’t know what to do , she says she just wants looking after but I don’t know where to start .
    Im supposed to be talking to mental health people myself starting next month but I’m already thinking about cancelling, I don’t see what they can do to help with my situation.
    Im sleeping with the dogs tonight so she can try and get some sleep which will mean up and down all night letting the old girl out .
    I know I’m sounding like a stuck record and we’ve been over this before I just feel so low , it’s not normal to be in tears every day when on the face of it our life should be good .
    Thank you for the previous replies.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    Re: Self referral ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    Hi , sorry I’ve not been on again , thank you for the hugs , life has been a struggle again , my daughters didn’t get my partner anything for her birthday which upset her so I said they shouldn’t get me anything either so they didn’t and I didn’t get Father’s Day cards either or see them , they know how to kick you when you’re down ,
    Your partner is really struggling (as are you) and I know how things like this can really hurt when we're struggling. Is this a young person thing with cards and shit? Only my lads are crap too. I am literally having an argument with my middle son over this now as his brother, dad and step-dad are all still waiting on birthday cards etc. (but you can bet his GF gets hers on time lol)


    I feel so hopeless and helpless , I’m sure before long I will lose her and I don’t know how to help , she needs rest and a break from all of us.
    Are you saying she attempted suicide? If so, she needs the appropriate MH care. This is beyond what you can handle..

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you both. X
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2017
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    2,634

    Re: Self referral ?

    I agree, what she’s going through is beyond your pay grade Buster.
    if it was a credible suicide attempt she should ring her doctor explain what she tried and they should fast track her to the care she needs. There’s no waiting lists as far as I am aware when things get to that point. Maybe inpatient care is what she desperately needs.

    The cards, well it’s a thing….my youngest son still has a Mother’s Day card in his drawer, unsigned from last year. We laugh about it, both of us know a bit of paper doesn’t mean anything compared to feelings.

    please don’t cancel your own MH appointment…you need looking after too.
    __________________
    It’s a cruel beast that you feed…..

    Ghost…Spillways

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