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Thread: Anxiety over everything

  1. #1
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    Jul 2013
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    Anxiety over everything

    Well here I find myself in my never ending spiral and heading only one way ÖÖ I have always had HA and mostly centred around cancer fears - well I had covid 14 weeks ago and still struggling with the gunky throat and mucus cough but everyone in house is on and off with coughs and colds but me Iím now feeling unable to breath and checking constantly if I am wheezy - sinus problems and blocked nose remain but I am shakey from the moment I wake in the mornings and absolutely know I am not breathing properly as feel tense and terrified - to top it off my husband tested positive yesterday and I had been in car with him for hour Friday night and 2 hours yesterday Ö. I was clear but as still have cough just canít get it again - I am currently on steroids as have lupus (a very rare type on skin) - I feel totally overwhelmed and feel my anxiety is at the worst I have ever been and have been slowly heading this way since November last year when my eldest son fell out with me ÖÖ he hasnít spoken to me since this time and it is eating me up Ö.. silly argument about mess around and lack of respect for our home but he left and hasnít replied or spoken to me since - heartbreaking ÖÖ as per normal when having these thoughts and spiralling I am saying in my head things have never felt like I do now before but ÖÖ I know feel there is something in my throat/on back of tongue - worrying about gunk and cough and know a lot of the time I donít need to cough but do anyway ÖÖ I honestly just feel done - and having dark thoughts which I donít ever recall before - Iím scared and just want to be normal - I have a fairly high stress job and to be honest donít know how the hell I am holding it together at the moment 😢😢😢😢

  2. #2
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    Jul 2013
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    Re: Anxiety over everything

    Ahhhhh I hate this - my head just does not take a break - this list is ever growing and although I think all anxiety there is that nagging doubt this time is different ÖÖ

  3. #3
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    Re: Anxiety over everything

    Hi Shaz, I need to log off and go take my pain meds.

    I just wanted to say something to let you know that you're not being ignored..

    I'll come back to this lovely..

    Hang on in there.
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

  4. #4
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    Re: Anxiety over everything

    Iím sorry you have so much to deal with. I understand the overwhelm, you just do t know where to start sometimes.
    I hope youíre feeling a bit better today, just take each day as it comes x

  5. #5
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    Re: Anxiety over everything

    Quote Originally Posted by shazbog View Post
    I feel totally overwhelmed and feel my anxiety is at the worst I have ever been and have been slowly heading this way since November last year when my eldest son fell out with me …… he hasn’t spoken to me since this time and it is eating me up ….. silly argument about mess around and lack of respect for our home but he left and hasn’t replied or spoken to me since - heartbreaking ……
    Hi Shaz, sorry to hear this. My step-daughter stopped talking to me five years ago. I've still no idea why and, as a result, we have no relationship with our grandson. Despite numerous messages from me to her asking what I've said or done, she won't answer. My best guess is that this 'coincided' with my autism diagnosis. It's been tremendously stressful, especially in the first few years, and my physical, mental, and emotional health has suffered greatly because of this. Which brings me to my response to you...

    When my SD cut me out of her life I was having a breakdown too (due to HA) and I believe that the stress of the situation with her contributed to my condition. At the same time, unknown to me, I had developed fibromyalgia. Having lupus means that you understand the connection between stress and flare ups of your condition, right? Add to this, the numerous unpleasant symptoms of the stress response, especially one which has been constantly triggered, and for a long time. So I'm not surprised that you're struggling as much as you are, Shaz..

    Re your son, at least you know what the problem is. I can only come to my own conclusions re my SD, and here's the thing...

    We can only be responsible for our own actions, not theirs. If we've done something wrong then it's up to us to own that behaviour and take accountability for our actions.

    Have you tried to speak to your son? Maybe he won't speak to you right now but you could e-mail him or write him a letter? Do what you can do to correct this and then you need to leave the rest up to him, and if that is that he chooses to do nothing, then you need to accept that it's his decision and get on with your life as best you can..

    I honestly just feel done - and having dark thoughts which I don’t ever recall before - I’m scared and just want to be normal - I have a fairly high stress job and to be honest don’t know how the hell I am holding it together at the moment 
    If these thoughts are about harming yourself then you need to speak to someone immediately..

    You're holding things together because you are stronger than you think you are. It just doesn't feel that way to you right now..
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

  6. #6
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    Re: Anxiety over everything

    Quote Originally Posted by NoraB View Post
    Hi Shaz, sorry to hear this. My step-daughter stopped talking to me five years ago. I've still no idea why and, as a result, we have no relationship with our grandson. Despite numerous messages from me to her asking what I've said or done, she won't answer. My best guess is that this 'coincided' with my autism diagnosis. It's been tremendously stressful, especially in the first few years, and my physical, mental, and emotional health has suffered greatly because of this. Which brings me to my response to you...

    When my SD cut me out of her life I was having a breakdown too (due to HA) and I believe that the stress of the situation with her contributed to my condition. At the same time, unknown to me, I had developed fibromyalgia. Having lupus means that you understand the connection between stress and flare ups of your condition, right? Add to this, the numerous unpleasant symptoms of the stress response, especially one which has been constantly triggered, and for a long time. So I'm not surprised that you're struggling as much as you are, Shaz..

    Re your son, at least you know what the problem is. I can only come to my own conclusions re my SD, and here's the thing...

    We can only be responsible for our own actions, not theirs. If we've done something wrong then it's up to us to own that behaviour and take accountability for our actions.

    Have you tried to speak to your son? Maybe he won't speak to you right now but you could e-mail him or write him a letter? Do what you can do to correct this and then you need to leave the rest up to him, and if that is that he chooses to do nothing, then you need to accept that it's his decision and get on with your life as best you can..



    If these thoughts are about harming yourself then you need to speak to someone immediately..

    You're holding things together because you are stronger than you think you are. It just doesn't feel that way to you right now..
    Thank you Nora ÖÖ like you say I do have knowledge of the stress link and flares with lupus Ö.. although hospital consultant/gp could manage me far better as they leave me to a point of being totally run down with it before they actually act on it - as it is so rare they only tend to really appear to care when they want something from me!!! Which I am sure you can appreciate is very frustrating!!!

    With regard to my son Ö.. I message him once a month which I believe he does not read due to his dad having covid over the past 2 weeks and me letting him know and he claims he didnít know until my dad spoke to him later in the day - this leads me to believe he doesnít even read my messages which clearly is heartbreaking for me - but as you say I can only control my reaction not his. I know that I have to walk away as he is very stubborn (unfortunately not one of my better flaws he has inherited &#128580 but I will message him once more to express how much I love him and when he feels able that I will be there as hard as that is for now that is what I know I have to do for my own mental health wellbeing.

    I do feel lost totally at the moment and donít really know what to do for the best - my health anxiety is in major hyper state over everything at the moment but like you say I am strong - I just feel broken at the moment and I think the fact I am totally run down isnít helping with shaking the lingering covid symptoms either which in turn is fuelling the whole health anxiety.

    Thank you so much for taking the time and care to respond to me - it really does mean the world 🥰

  7. #7
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    Re: Anxiety over everything

    Quote Originally Posted by shazbog View Post
    but I will message him once more to express how much I love him and when he feels able that I will be there as hard as that is for now that is what I know I have to do for my own mental health wellbeing.
    This is an excellent response, Shaz..

    I do feel lost totally at the moment and don’t really know what to do for the best - my health anxiety is in major hyper state over everything at the moment but like you say I am strong - I just feel broken at the moment and I think the fact I am totally run down isn’t helping with shaking the lingering covid symptoms either which in turn is fuelling the whole health anxiety.
    I know mate, I get it. I'm in a flare up at the moment and I feel absolutely wretched. I'm having to work hard on the HA thoughts (and other ones) but I know that the answer is 'self-care' and this means to look after myself body & mind as best I can and not beat myself up for not being able to do much. I know this period will pass, and it will for you too - we just have to hang on in there and remember that this time now is when we are at our very strongest, and that's despite how broken we may feel..

    Thank you so much for taking the time and care to respond to me - it really does mean the world 殺
    You're welcome.
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

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