I just want this to stop

[shazbog]

Well here we are 3am - was asleep before 11 as tired emotional and both physically and mentally drained and then woke at just after midnight by amazing thunder/lightening storm and sets me off worrying over everything again - I can’t even begin to list what is wrong all I know is I’ve done now ….: 53 years old and a bloody emotional mess and I just can’t take it anymore - I’ve tried getting up making a milky Horlicks - read my kindle and now listening to some sleep music just crying as so many worries in my head and it just won’t shut up and sleep and now I don’t even think it is worth it …: at 5.35am my alarm goes off - I feel my entire body is shaking although you can’t see it, I can’t breath ….. sorry just needed to write this down - things really are rubbish right now 😢

[NoraB]

Well here we are 3am - was asleep before 11 as tired emotional and both physically and mentally drained and then woke at just after midnight by amazing thunder/lightening storm and sets me off worrying over everything again - I can’t even begin to list what is wrong all I know is I’ve done now ….: 53 years old and a bloody emotional mess and I just can’t take it anymore

Sorry to hear you're struggling, Shaz. I understand how you're feeling. It is exhausting, mentally, emotionally, and physically but you are coping better than you think you are, trust me..

- I’ve tried getting up making a milky Horlicks - read my kindle and now listening to some sleep music just crying as so many worries in my head and it just won’t shut up and sleep and now I don’t even think it is worth it …: at 5.35am my alarm goes off - I feel my entire body is shaking although you can’t see it, I can’t breath ….. sorry just needed to write this down - things really are rubbish right now 

Milky drinks are generally good for sleep (Tryptophan) but some people hit middle-age and suddenly dairy becomes an issue to the digestive system so I'd suggest looking at your diet to begin with? Also, it can be mucus forming which can interfere with sleep. There are other options for 'sleepy' drinks - herbal teas like Camomile, Lemon Balm, Valerian. (always check suitability with any medication you take as there can be interactions)

Re Kindle, screens can be problematic as can subject matter if it's stimulating. You're aiming for something that you can doze off to, like classical music, sleep stories (e.g. CALM app) or nature sounds..

Try and get those worries down on paper. Make two columns, one titled 'What I can change' and the other 'What can't be changed, I will accept'. It's a good exercise..

[Darksky]

I agree, quit the kindle. The light from the screen won’t be helping. If you want to read get a book. I read before bed and it always makes me dozy. You want something non stimulating and light, preferably something you have read before so you don’t get too engrossed. My go to is the James Herriot books. I’ve read them so many times I know what’s coming but my brain now associates reading them with dropping off.

I very been there with the constant worries whirling round your head and night is the worst because there’s nothing to distract you.

I was going to suggest writing your worries down too. See if you can actually do something to alleviate them. One by one. Is there some action you can take with any? A different way of looking at them.

Also chamomile tea is good for relaxing…it’s all I drink.

[NoraB]

.

Also chamomile tea is good for relaxing…it’s all I drink.

It is a really great herb. I used to drink a lot of this until I realised that I'm allergic to it. I'm allergic to ragweed and this is from the same family. Something for people to bear in mind who have allergies..

[shazbog]

Thanks both - I tried music and it didnÂ’t work - I find kindle no different to a book as have to have light on - today has just been the same stressing over everything - feel shaky, heart rate racing away Â…Â… just canÂ’t put a stop to this spiral 😢😢😢

[BlueIris]

Maybe try artificially generated music, such as can be found on the Mind Body Zone YouTube channel? It always knocks me right out.

I know it's tough, but you have to keep on telling yourself that it's only temporary. Fake it til you make it can be a very effective strategy.

[Darksky]

But don’t all these phones, iPads etc give off a particular kind of light that interferes with sleep. I sure I’ve heard it somewhere. A simple lamp with a soft bulb may be better.

im also a great believer in fake it til you make it.
Remember nothing, literally nothing lasts forever. It can’t.

[.Poppy.]

I'm sorry you are struggling.

I know it's not always advised, but when I can't sleep due to anxiety my go-to is to put on a show that I've seen a bunch of times before and fall asleep to that. It gives my mind something to focus on that isn't just my anxious thoughts, usually its comedy which is relaxing in itself, but since I know what happens I don't have to pay attention nearly as much and my brain can doze off. I usually will block the light though by either putting something in front of the TV or putting a compress over my eyes.

[Scass]

I really love the loona app. It tells a story, with sleepy music, and you sort of colour in the scene while you follow the story. They often include breathing techniques in them too. It’s not cheap, but you can try it for free first.

[NoraB]

Thanks both - I tried music and it didnÂ’t work - I find kindle no different to a book as have to have light on - today has just been the same stressing over everything - feel shaky, heart rate racing away Â…Â… just canÂ’t put a stop to this spiral 

Doesn't matter about whether you have a light on or not. It's about the blue light that's emitted from your Kindle screen directly into your eyes and this will stimulate the brain and prevent you from being able to sleep, or to enter into deep sleep..

You can put a stop to this but it won't be instant. It will take some time and effort and you don't give up after day one. I'm talking weeks and months here in order to break the cycle. As bad as it seems at the moment, this is temporary.

Have you done what we've suggested? As in writing your concerns down? Get proactive on what can be changed and accept the rest.

In order for your brain to know it's time to sleep, your bedroom needs to be as dark as possible. I had great success using a 'Mindfold' as I realised that, even when my eyes were closed, I was sensitive to any changes in light in the room. I don't eat after 6pm. I don't drink decaf after 4pm. I don't watch any stimulating TV after 6pm. Sleep hygiene is very important and it's often those small details (that we consider to be too insignificant to bother with) which cause the biggest problems..

What type of music did you listen to? All this matters. Everything that you ingest - body & mind - matters.

Have you tried doing deep breathing exercises?

What (if anything) have you done to help yourself? You're commenting on here with the same dialogue and the problem is that in doing this repeatedly we are reaffirming our fears and actively keeping the cycle going.

Bottom line: you need to change your dialogue (because the brain is taking notice) and challenge those thoughts.

I'd also throw in something else..

I presume you're female? You're 53. So are you menopausal? Reason is that the menopause can REALLY muck around with our systems as a whole and some women who have never experienced this level of anxiety before, do so during this time. Increased anxiety can be due to the decline in progesterone (the calming hormone) and we can get some help with that. If you don't know that you are entering the menopause then this, for me, would be one to put on the 'list of things I can do something about' and get your FSH levels checked etc..