Here we go again

[smogie]

Well after an awful month stressing about my routine mammogram (see other posts &#128553I didn’t feel great this morning so stupidly decided to check my blood pressure and of course it was high I proceeded to take it about twenty times so much that my upper arm is now got marks on it why do I do this to myself what the hell is wrong with me any words of wisdom would be appreciated thanks

[NoraB]

Well after an awful month stressing about my routine mammogram (see other posts &#128553I didn’t feel great this morning so stupidly decided to check my blood pressure and of course it was high I proceeded to take it about twenty times so much that my upper arm is now got marks on it why do I do this to myself what the hell is wrong with me any words of wisdom would be appreciated thanks

You know why your blood pressure is up. The answer is in your own post. You've been stressing yourself over your mammogram and you have HA which is a horrible MH condition..

There's no point in taking your BP 20 times. Far better to work on lowering those stress levels and re-check in about a week. Or, if you cannot use the BP monitor in a way that doesn't fuel your HA then my advice is to get rid of it. If it's there, it's too easy to get caught up in a spiral of checking...

[Darksky]

Would you feel better if you didn’t have your own personal blood pressure monitor? I don’t have one. If you just chucked it and we’re unable to check how would you feel?

[smogie]

At the moment I can’t wait to get home and check it again I don’t know why I went down the rabbit hole again it’s ages since I used it and when I did my bp was the best it had ever been it’s like I’m always looking for problems

[pulisa]

At least you admit and acknowledge that you're always looking for problems...so why torment yourself with that BP monitor and why have a BP monitor in your house anyway unless your GP has asked you to monitor it? These monitors don't help people with HA so there's a reason why you say"here we go again"..You're in control here and you have to be tough with yourself and ask yourself what good you are doing by compulsively testing your BP?

[smogie]

My husband had high bp so doctor advised him to get one he’s on medication now and is fine I’m scared if it goes unchecked I will have a heart attack or a stroke my mam died from heart failure at 62 following a heart attack when she was 57 is there some twisted part of me that wants something to happen

[pulisa]

I wouldn't say that. More a need to cover yourself for every eventuality and trying to make connections re your own chances of getting ill when you are the same age as when your mother first had heart issues. There may be a part of you that expects to get ill and is just waiting to be proved right..because it's inevitable in your HA mindset regardless of what the doctors say?

[smogie]

Yes you’re probably right have just started some private counselling while waiting for my nhs cbt I also had a lot of surgery when I was a child so the counsellor thinks that could be at the root of my problems but it was so long ago I’m struggling to believe that this might be true

[pulisa]

I think you're feeling vulnerable due to "that" age and its significance (in your HA-influenced eyes)

[smogie]

Is there a magic wand I’m just so sick of it all x