Hello.I suffer CPTSD with massive social anxiety from childhood and receive constant abuse, bullying, always picked on, etc. I avoid people as much as I can and I am always too nice.
Anyway, so I am a regular at a gym for some years and never had any problem with anyone. Never spoke to anyone either.
Today I was using a machine and a guy came asking me how long would I stay on it and I said 5 minutes and I call you when I finish.
So the guy didn't like the answer. A muscled guy full of horrible tattoos and an aggressive attitude, he told me to alternate, meaning he'd use it while I rest between series. I said NO and he didnīt like it, so he insisted and I repeated NO I call you in 5 minutes, so he showed a very disgusting gesture and smile like "what a f. idiot" and I said, "if you don't agree that's your problem, spare me that disgusting smile of yours", so the guy was like... kind of shocked as I looked at his eyes straight and firm and then he gave me a speech that the gym is small and we have to share and blah blah.
Sharing a machine in times of covid and the monkeypox after 2 years of masks and lockdowns and my best friend dying of covid and the guy tells me to share the machine because he can't wait 5 minutes...
So I finished and went to one of the teachers (or I don't know the right name in English, the guys working at the gym) and asked him if he knew that guy and said yeah, he works here (I never saw him after 3 years going there) and he was kind of rude too and noticed they had been talking about the incident and he was supporting the tattood aggressor saying he had seen it all, so they both started to talk to me saying he hadn't been any rude or anything and that I was making it up, but both being massively agressive and disrespectful completely. So I said ENOUGH Im not speaking with you anymore and told them to go away and leave me alone. I was totally shaking and they could notice. I tremble after any little argument out of too much adrenaline and fear. It's just horrible, and it remains in my body and head for hours. Any little argument and I tremble and feel really sick as with heafrt disease for many hours and obsess about it.
So... should I tell the manager? I'm sure they're going to deny it and will act like a mafia against me after it forever, and they are MANY teachers or monitors or however it's called in English.
Would you tell? On one hand I know those guys have abused me once again out of nothing. They notice my weakness in my face and abuse, everybody does it. I am abused, mocked,bullied, wherever I go. But I also know that the manager will not care at all and the guys will not receive any penaly for it, so I will make things worse and they'll surely get seriously against me which is bad because any other gym is very far away.
What do you think?
Thanks