This is for anyone who has tried exposure to overcome agoraphobia, and has run into problems. No matter what happens during a journey, no matter how you feel, and no matter what you think, you are making progress.

The reason why you get scared in some situations or places is because your amygdala (the part of your brain that senses danger and arms you with adrenaline to deal with it) has become too sensitive. This causes you to feel the same stress that you’d feel if you were actually in danger. Except that in your case, you are in no danger at all.

The reason why we do exposure is to demonstrate to that part of your brain that you are not in danger. We do this by showing up. By going to the scary place, or doing the scary thing. Just that alone sends a very strong message. Your actions, regardless of your feelings, are what count.
During exposures we remain as calm as possible when we feel anxious or panic. This tells your amygdala that it is wrong to give you adrenaline, muscle tightness and all the signs of anxiety that you’re familiar with. This is why you shouldn’t react to your amygdala’s danger signals.

By acting calm (as in going through the motions of someone who is calm), your amygdala becomes confused and starts wondering if perhaps it is wrong. Over time, if you do this repeatedly, it will begin to get the message.

If you get anxious in a particular situation, for example if you’re a mile from home, you should try to resist the urge to go back home. Turning back confirms to your amygdala that there is danger. You should try not to do this. But don’t even worry about that too much, because no matter what you do, and no matter how you feel, one way or another you have made some progress. Every time you do an exposure you’re chipping away at your agoraphobia.

If you start walking down the street and you back out and scurry home again, well, although that’s not ideal, it’s still progress. You still went out there, even if it was only for 5 minutes.

If you go to a train station and get scared at the last moment and choose not to get on the train, the fact that you made it there at all sends a message. It shows your brain that you are willing to dare. It shows your amygdala that you’re toying with it, and not taking it that seriously. You’re challenging it.

Once you’ve made a fair amount of progress, you’ll look back and see just how far you’ve developed. And any new issues that come up will be issues that you never used to have before. They will be the kinds of challenges that once upon a time you wouldn’t have even dared to face. And that’s progress.

So don’t get demoralized. I don’t think I’m being unrealistic when I say that as long as you keep doing exposures, it’s all good. Every exposure is progress.