Health Anxiety Worse than ever - will it ever end?

[Dobbiedoo]

Had health anxiety to varying degrees for years but much worse since Christmas.

Started with worry over swollen glands that weren't actually swollen. GP sent for scary blood tests for reassurance. Had to redo one of them as couldn't process apparently which sent my anxiety higher but all fine in the end.

Next, my attention turned to my son and a visible gland he'd had for years. GP not worried but got him checked out for lymphoma! Terrifying time, more for me than him. All fine.

Back to me again and obsessing over breast cancer. I spent hours searching for lumps, prodding and damaging the skin till it bled. After 2 trips to GP, I was referred to breast clinic for reassurance. All fine.

Ironically, the very same day I got the all clear from the breast clinic and was feeling relieved and ready to put HA behind me, I came out in several weird unexplained purple bruises. I'd recently started Sertraline and read this could be an uncommon but serious side effect for which you should get urgent medical help! GP sent me to A&E for urgent blood tests to rule out scary stuff. I was utterly petrified, convinced I had leukaemia!

Blood tests all completely normal. Dr agreed it could be the Sertraline and told me to come off. However, they found trace of blood in urine! Period was due so said it could be that but to get urine rechecked by GP if didn't start in next couple of days as Sertraline can cause internal bleeding!

Period started next day which eased my anxiety but then I received a text from hospital with appointment for CT scan of chest, abdomen & pelvis for the following week that sent me spiralling again. I couldn't make the appointment, or the rescheduled one, so only had the scan a week ago, 3 weeks after the A&E visit. I asked why I was having the scan and they didn't seem to know.

I've been told to wait 2 weeks for results and that my GP will contact me. From previous experience of my GP surgery, you have to call them for results and they only contact you if there's a problem so now I jump every time my phone rings! If it doesn't, I will call them when the 2 weeks are up, I'm terrified.

I've not had another purple bruise since the day in A&E 4 weeks ago. However, I've had a number of much smaller, paler bruises that appear and disappear very quickly but these seem to be appearing less frequently now. I'd not had one for 2 weeks but had a small one appear on my leg 2 days ago ( now nearly gone) which got me worrying again as I don't know how I got it. I'm obsessed with constantly checking my body for brusing and freak at the tiniest blemish.

I'm 55 and convinced that this time my luck will run out and that something awful will be found on the CT scan. Utterly petrified and want this nightmare to end.

Thanks for reading.

[rc906]

We have similar stories. I had about a two month freakout over a mole that I thought looked sketchy, a doctor and a derm both looked at it for two seconds each and said it was completely fine. Then, literally the same day that I got the "all clear" on the mole, I started getting this idea in my head that I was peeing too much and have had spirals over that ever since.

That's how our brains our wired, unfortunately. The second we get some reassurance on one thing, something else pops up and then we panic. If your bloodwork was fine, I'm sure that there is absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm sure the scan was just a precautionary thing with nothing to worry about.

Hope you find some relief soon, as I know how stressful this waiting game can be.

[Dobbiedoo]

Thank you for replying. It's breaking the cycle that's so hard! I've told myself that IF this all comes back OK, I will draw a line and move on as not much left to check really! We'll see. I obviously can't take anti depressants anymore - too scared to touch them anyway after this! I was going to do CBT but they only offer online at the moment which I'm not comfortable with so will have to do this on my own unfortunately.

[MoonCat83]

I hear you! For me; it's food poisoning one day, heart attack the next! The health scares are driving me up the wall and I wish my mind would stop assuming the worst!

[NoraB]

In answer to your question, Health anxiety - will it ever end?..

You can learn to control this condition, yes..

A minority of people with HA will be able to cure themselves but the majority have other issues with anxiety/OCD etc and this makes it a lot harder to 'cure' the condition so best case is to control the condition effectively. I have done this for several years now after four decades of being controlled by HA..

You're 55. Realistically the longer we live the more things are likely to wrong with our bodies. It comes with ageing so it is best to get a handle on your fears now..

Something might well be found on a scan but it's rarely something terminal..

Things that have been found on my scans..

Cervical Spondylosis (arthritis in the neck) degeneration, wear and tear - nerve impingement.
Dexa Scan - Osteopenia (expected with a post-menopausal woman)
Gynae scans - polyp, thickness of the womb (both issues now sorted)
Brain scans - they found one. (sorry)
An incidental finding on my spine MRI. Could be a tumour? Could be evidence of MS? Could be the end for me? (turned out to be a birthmark)
Bloods - deficient in Vit D and B12 (and deficient in iron when preggers)

And also, what wasn't found on my scans led to a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia..

So far this year I've had six health issues aside my usual fibro crap. I didn't petrify myself. I never went down that hole. If an insanity case like me can do this, anyone can..

[Dobbiedoo]

Well it's over 5 weeks since my scan & I've been chasing results. GP surgery told me last week that hospital emailing them over to them & to call back in a few days. Meanwhile, over the weekend, I receive a "follow up" appointment with the breast doctor for later this week! Utterly terrified. I was given the all clear by the breast clinic just 2 months ago so no follow up appointment needed. I can only think this is related to the CT scan and I'm petrified. After a traumatic weekend I'll be phoning both GP & hospital this morning to find out what the hell is going on. I'm supposed to be going on holiday in a few days and now don't know if I can. I'm in pieces.

[NoraB]

but then I received a text from hospital with appointment for CT scan of chest, abdomen & pelvis for the following week that sent me spiralling again. I couldn't make the appointment, or the rescheduled one, so only had the scan a week ago, 3 weeks after the A&E visit. I asked why I was having the scan and they didn't seem to know.

Why didn't you ask your GP?

Utterly petrified and want this nightmare to end.

What are you doing about your health anxiety, Dobbie?

[Dobbiedoo]

It was a mistake!!! Doctor at breast clinic had ordered the scan for me instead of another patient! Nothing was found on the scan. The "follow up" appointment was for him to explain and apologise. Because I'd also been to a&e the following day, I assumed it was arranged by them, but even that was strange as they never mentioned doing a scan when I was there. It was an unfortunate catalogue of events that led me to go for a scan that I didn't need.

While I'm relieved, I'm also upset and angry at the weeks of stress and anguish this has caused me.

In answer to your qustions I did try finding out why I was having the scan but couldn't get answers so dutifully went along with it. Assumed they were maybe looking for internal bleeding or looking at bladder due to blood in urine. GP has now told me that a ct wouldn't necessarily spot problems with bladder and wants to re-test urine which scares me a bit. I'm also starting cbt shortly so I'm hoping that and a hopefully clear urine test will put me on the road to recovery.

[NoraB]

In answer to your qustions I did try finding out why I was having the scan but couldn't get answers so dutifully went along with it. Assumed they were maybe looking for internal bleeding or looking at bladder due to blood in urine. GP has now told me that a ct wouldn't necessarily spot problems with bladder and wants to re-test urine which scares me a bit. I'm also starting cbt shortly so I'm hoping that and a hopefully clear urine test will put me on the road to recovery.

Most likely cause was your period, it being blood (and it's a matter of coincidence) but they have to check so try to think rationally.

Good to hear you're doing some CBT. It's what you learn in therapy that will put you on the road to controlling HA as clear tests results offer only short-term reassurance, as you will have discovered...

[jessieblue]

I wondered how you are doing now? I am suffering terribly with health anxiety. I think I have bowel cancer and I am literally petrified of going to the toilet daily. I have lost loads of weight but I did have campylobacter food poisoning that caused a lot of weight loss and then have had severe anxiety since.

I had an abdominal and pelvic CT scan that was all clear, but I still think I have bowel cancer because I have soft stools and sometimes constipated. I bleed too but from a visible tear and piles.

Health anxiety is so hard to deal with. I am having CBT nd trauma therapy, but I am still stuck in complete terror. I wondered if you have had any relief since this post?