Dark Mole

[Rey1989]

rc906:

You have no idea how much I truly appreciate the time you've put into helping me out here with my fear. I haven't been able to sleep, eat, or enjoy life pretty much for a week at this point. Never been this scared about health in my whole life, that I'm pretty sure. This time it's something I can clearly see on my skin, unlike previous times where it was all in my head.

It's just nice to be able to talk to someone about this, at this point I don't want to drive my wife crazy with all my worries (she knows I am an extremely anxious person). As you can imagine, I've been hyper-focusing on this for weeks now, so I am probably starting to notice normal things that have been there for a while for the first time. For instance, I am now starting to feel a slight elevation over the mole. It has not really changed its appearance, but I also never checked with my fingers if it was elevated or not.

I know my Dr. looked at the pictures I sent him and he did say it looked like junctional/or compound nevus, so I am trying to hold on to that statement. The only thing that I guess concerned him (which is why I am getting it removed/biopsied) was the fact that it was on the darker side (very dark brown, almost black under certain lighting conditions).

My appointment is a week from today, so I will try my absolute best to keep my sh@% together until then. I just want to know that everything is fine, just a scare, so I can move on with my life. I need to work on my anxiety, this is probably going to be a life-long journey for me.

Also, funny that "RC" are the real initials of my name!

Thanks so much rc906!

Rey

[rc906]

I'm happy to help in any way I can.

I know this is a very serious thing for you but I cant help but laugh because everything you say could have been written by me a few months ago (right down to annoying the wife). For real, I know exactly how you feel. You are going to be completely fine. A few weeks from now, you are going to look back and wonder why the hell you spent so much time stressing about a mole. Then you can go on and help the next person who is having this fear :-)

If you want to thank me for helping you out, go and spend time with your family and focus on enjoying that time with them. I know you are worried about leaving them behind but you shouldn't worry about that. You should worry about spending every minute possible enjoying your 1 year old. He won't stay little and cute forever. Before you know it he is going to be annoyed at you for embarrassing in front of his friends and you will wish he could be 1 year old again. Enjoy this time.

[Rey1989]

I know, they grow so fast! I looked at pictures of him from February-March and he looks so small compared to now.

We did have a great weekend (Not going to lie, had to try my hardest to shut down my brain with all the negative thoughts) and overall it went really well.

I will make sure to update this threat with the outcome, whatever it ends up being.

Thank you for your words of wisdom, and to thank you I will go for a long walk with my family after work today (since it's not raining, for once haha).

Rey

[Rey1989]

Well,

I made the terrible decision to go grab My phone and take a photo of my mole with 5x the zoom. At that point, you can kinda see some irregular borders. Are “non malignant” usually like that when zoomed in?

Im panicking.

Rey

[rc906]

100% of moles in human history are going to have weird looking borders if looked at close enough. The kind of mole that has irregular borders doesn't need zoom magnification to identify weird borders. They are extremely obvious. Stop taking pictures and looking at it. No matter what you are going to find something weird about it. Your doc looked at it and said it looks like a normal compound mole. They know what they are looking at.

You are going to be fine Rey!

[Rey1989]

Thanks for keeping up with this thread and answering to my silly comments. I sent you a PM rc906!

6 more days until I get this removed!

Rey

[Rey1989]

Im sick to my stomach.

Just read about some cases of very highly pigmented moles such as mine coming back as melanoma.

Im seriously in such despair. This has been a nightmare. Never been this scared in my life.

Im sorry if you are rolling your eyes reading this once again. I trully am. Im just a mess right now. Driving my wife insane, and just need to vent somewhere and let it out.

I feel like this time its real. Don’t know how to explain it. I really hope im wrong.

Thanks for reading.

Rey

[rc906]

Im sick to my stomach.

I feel like this time its real. Don’t know how to explain it. I really hope im wrong.


Rey

Hey bud,

Sorry you are still having a really rough time. I know the feeling but you are almost for sure wrong. Everything is going to be totally fine. Just hold strong until your appointment and then you will see.

[Rey1989]

Thank you rc.

As always, appreciate it for being the only one commenting on this thread, besides me of course, to try to bring me to my senses.

The wait to see someone to finally tell me what this is is pretty much agonizing. No other way to describe it. The anxiety level just keeps building on and on with each passing hour.

I hope to look back at this thread in a few weeks and laugh because of all the things I've said, but until then, I'm in hell.

Again, truly appreciate your support rc906, you've been a blessing in this forum.

Rey

[Rey1989]

On top of everything, had to go
to the ER last night with renal colic pain. Turns out im also passing a kidney stone.

They did a CT scan of my abdomen which I am not too thrilled about (due to the high radiation) but what can you do.

Still very anxious about the mole, figured I’d add the latest development…

Rey