Blood in stool and anemia....

[Jem1603]

I have a telephone appt with the consultant next Tuesday - so that is another weekend of anxiety and stress. Meanwhile, the anxiety and stress is making my bowels and IBS more severe, I still have to take codeine for arthritic pain and struggle to eat every day anyway. Sorry, I just feel so overwhelmed by all of this.

[NoraB]

I have a telephone appt with the consultant next Tuesday - so that is another weekend of anxiety and stress.

Doesn't have to be.

You do have a choice in how to respond to this situation..

Meanwhile, the anxiety and stress is making my bowels and IBS more severe, I still have to take codeine for arthritic pain and struggle to eat every day anyway. Sorry, I just feel so overwhelmed by all of this.

Nothing like a good bout of severe anxiety to muck up the bowels! Try and calm yourself down (do this for your mental health and your bowels!)

Re food; try and eat little and often. Don't try to attempt full meals, the mere sight of them is enough to put us off when we're anxious. I was on Complans when I was bad with my anxiety..

You're not alone, Jem. You'll come through this...

[Jem1603]

Thanks Nora, it's really kind of you to keep responding and supporting anyway you can.

I feel like I have serious symptoms - and none of this is imaginary, so for that reason my anxiety isn't controllable right now. I feel like Health Anxiety takes the form of imagined/irrational fears based on other factors...but when you have symptoms and are waiting for tests the anxiety is completely different. I've been googling a lot and this always brings negative results, I can't find any reassurance from any website regarding my symptoms and I feel like I am disassociating with fear. Today at work I felt dizzy and faint, I'm not really hearing what people say and i can't think beyond this....it's very difficult right now.

[NoraB]

I feel like I have serious symptoms - and none of this is imaginary, so for that reason my anxiety isn't controllable right now.

Actually, it can be. I turned myself around the night before my colonoscopy which I was 100% certain would show cancer. You're telling yourself you can't control your anxiety but is it the truth? I told myself the very same and it turned out to be false..

I feel like Health Anxiety takes the form of imagined/irrational fears based on other factors...but when you have symptoms and are waiting for tests the anxiety is completely different. I've been googling a lot and this always brings negative results, I can't find any reassurance from any website regarding my symptoms and I feel like I am disassociating with fear. Today at work I felt dizzy and faint, I'm not really hearing what people say and i can't think beyond this....it's very difficult right now.

Googling is a very bad idea when you have HA. I could literally type in any symptom, no matter how minor, and Dr Google will try to scare the shit out of me. Answer? Don't Google. Nobody is forcing you to do it; you're doing it by choice (and it's a bad one)

The good news is that you're working. This tells me that you're coping better than you think you are. (Not coping means having to go off sick) so focus on that positive? Also, it's best if you can remain busy as HA will really go to town on us when we just sit there... (trust me on that one)

It is very difficult for you at the moment, and you have my sympathy, empathy and everything else, but, you can move beyond this fear if you put the effort in and start challenging those thoughts..

[Jem1603]

Thanks Nora, everything you say makes sense but it's still very hard.

I have to have an endoscopy and colonoscopy and more blood tests. I will hear in the next couple of weeks. So more waiting. Not sure how I'm going to cope...:(

[NoraB]

I have to have an endoscopy and colonoscopy and more blood tests. I will hear in the next couple of weeks. So more waiting. Not sure how I'm going to cope...:(

You'll cope.

See yourself as the person you want to be. Visualise it as much as you can. 'See' yourself being fearless. Athletes do this all the time; it works. (Also, your body will start firing the good hormones.)

Is this the worst thing you've ever had to go through? I've just re-read this thread so I'm presuming it's not. You came through losing your partner. You've gone through something truly terrible and you've coped..

You can do this...

When people say they're not coping, they usually are - and better than they think they are..

These next weeks will come and go, but you will have to deal with the after effects of anxiety for a long time afterwards. There's much you can do to limit this...

[Jem1603]

Thanks Nora - you are an angel, truly.x

I have OCD and my life has been one horrendous hurdle after the other. This year I was hoping we could move forward with our lives. My son has been really ill with mental health and addiction, he finally seems to be in recovery working at a farm, writing again and learning to play the violin. He's autistic and has developed OCD during lockdown. The last few years my stress levels have been so high I can't ever remember enjoying the act of eating/or eating a proper meal. I have also been in constant pain with arthritis.

The problem with the OCD is I look for 'signs' this can be numbers, birds, songs, comments, a phone call - anything that reinforces my negative thought and it is really hard to overcome.

The consultant said the source of 'bleeding' needs to be found, he didnt seem interested in my diet, just said I would need more blood tests.

When he asked for permission for the colonoscopy and endoscopy I felt like saying 'no mate, you don't have permission to stick a camera up my arse or down my throat - how would you like it? Churlish of me, but ignorance is bliss. Sorry for rambling, I'm going to try and manifest positive thoughts etc.

p.s my mum was called Nora - so that's one positive sign

[NoraB]

Thanks Nora - you are an angel, truly.x

It's been said.... (but not by many lol)

I have OCD and my life has been one horrendous hurdle after the other. This year I was hoping we could move forward with our lives. My son has been really ill with mental health and addiction, he finally seems to be in recovery working at a farm, writing again and learning to play the violin. He's autistic and has developed OCD during lockdown.

See, I knew I liked you.. I have an autistic son too! So I know how tough a lady you are! (because we have to be, right?)

I'm so sorry to hear that your son has been struggling but I am pleased to hear that he's coming out the other side and that he's able to engage with his interests again..

The last few years my stress levels have been so high I can't ever remember enjoying the act of eating/or eating a proper meal. I have also been in constant pain with arthritis.

It's impossible to enjoy food when anxiety is high. Fight or flight is constantly engaged and we're not designed to eat (or want to eat) during this response. It's biology. Also, chronic pain affects the appetite. And this is very much a case of me too as I have Fibromyalgia and I'm literally always in some level of pain..

The problem with the OCD is I look for 'signs' this can be numbers, birds, songs, comments, a phone call - anything that reinforces my negative thought and it is really hard to overcome.

I have OCD too but mine is a checking issue (fire, burglary) and intrusive thoughts. Having OCD makes it a little harder to overcome HA but it's by no means impossible. The techniques I learned to get me out of the HA hole also help me with my OCD..

When he asked for permission for the colonoscopy and endoscopy I felt like saying 'no mate, you don't have permission to stick a camera up my arse or down my throat - how would you like it? Churlish of me, but ignorance is bliss. Sorry for rambling, I'm going to try and manifest positive thoughts etc.

I had bum-cam and it was almost a pleasant experience. Prep aside (which was awful but I had lemonade chasers) I was sedated off my little trolley. I was quite the happy little camper with my bum in the air (not that I remember much of it at all)

Ramble on all you like. I think it helps to talk to people who understand what you're going through..

p.s my mum was called Nora - so that's one positive sign

Great name is Nora...

[Jem1603]

Hi guys - thought I would update you on my procedure, as everyone has been really kind and a lot of people seem to disappear leaving everyone hanging - and wondering what may have happened.

I had my appt yesterday for colonoscopy and endoscopy. The day before I had been pretty much fasting most of the day, just some light soup and toast in the morning. Then I stuck to water, it was very hot and I wanted to stay hydrated. At 6pm I started the moviprep - it tastes like soap and lemon...with a bitterness as it hits the back of the throat. I sipped this slowly for two hours and had some water every half hour. My bowels started to open after about 45 mins with a normal movement and then not so normal. This carried on until I went to bed about 10:30pm. I knew I wasn't going to sleep because I couldnt have my pain relief, I was very anxious about the next day and it was so damned hot!! I also knew I had to start with the prep at 4am and I wasnt looking forward to that at all.

Those hours I was awake were very dark and lonely, I went to all my intrusive thoughts and struggled to contain my anxiety at all. Anyway, I used the same method for the prep,sipping slowly and water. By 8am it was starting to end. I felt very dehydrated but partly because of the heat and I knew I wasn't going to have a drink for a few hours.

I decided I didnt want to be sedated, I wouldnt advise anyone either way....but I wanted to hear and see everything. I was worried that if I was sedated I would have too many questions after that would fuel my HA. So, I'm not going to lie, the endoscopy without sedation is pretty brutal. If anyone wants more details they can message me. I don't want to put anyone off, or scare anyone because everyone has a different experience and not everyone has HA.

Once that is over (around 5 minutes) they turn you are around and go into your colon. Here I had gas and air, it helped a lot. I had a lot of pain because I was full of wind and farting a lot! but the staff were lovely and they didnt mind.

Anyway, there was no sign of anything that is causing my anemia, no bleeding, no polyps, no fissures. I have mild gastritis and a candida/thrush infection from my inhalers.
My colon was normal, they said it looked great, but I had some inflammation around the rectum.

They took routine biopsies which of course will trigger my HA, but I am now certain that the anemia is not caused by upper or lower GI bleeding. I think you should all know this because everything on google says different. My consultant said she had never seen piles that had caused anemia so it is VERY rare. But I wouldnt rule anything out.

I have had severe constipation and I do have a pile, which she could see. I wonder if that stool sample I gave (which was a very constipated one) was caused by the pile or the inflammation around the rectum.

One poster was asking about the level of blood in their stool and I myself was not sure what the FIT test showed, the GP said I had a lot. I told the consultant the GP wasnt interested in my diet - but she said it is important to get these things checked so we can be treated properly.

I still have a lot of pain in my throat, I feel exhausted but that's normal. I also think my iron deficiency anemia is diet related so I am hitting red meat again with my iron tablets.

Finally, I think blood in the stool is a symptom of C, and that's why everyone panics but also weight loss, change in bowel habits etc have to be considered.

Hope some of this helps anyone out there.x

[Reddog]

Thanks for posting this update. I have followed this thread and often thought of you. You have been through so much stress waiting for these tests. It doesn’t sound like the docs have any real answers for the anemia, but now they can treat it. It sounds like you also need to treat the constipation. IBS sure is a tricky little beast!