Catastrophizing Husband's Kidney Issues

[CoconutMonkey]

Hi Everyone,

First of all I'd like to mention that I'm a longtime lurker on this forum, as I've had HA for pretty much my whole life (I'm 46). You have been a source of comfort for me when I'm up all hours worrying. So thank you.

Right now I'm fully in a panic about my husband. This last weekend he suddenly noticed blood in his urine, so we went to the hospital. They did a CT and determined he has polycystic kidney disease. Not super surprising, as his brother and father have it (father had no idea until he was tested after brother developed it), but he did get tested 20 years ago and was clear. The doctors also found an "abnormality" on one of his kidneys, and they referred us to a urologist. We are waiting for the appointment.

The hospital seemed to think it was urgent that he get checked out, but when I asked if it was ok to wait 2 weeks for an appointment, they said it was fine and "these things are usually dealt with fairly easily." But they also gave us the urologist's phone number and said to call midweek if we hadn't heard anything.

Of course I ended up googling, and found some scary stats about kidney cancer. I know there are quite a few treatment options, like medication, or surgery, or removing the whole kidney, but the C-word is dominating my brain. My support network keeps reassuring me that we don't know what it is yet, but based on the doctor's urgency, I can't help but think it's bad. What if it's spread?

My HA is bad for me, but worse when I'm worrying about my loved ones. I can't eat and can barely focus because I'm so scared I'm going to lose him.

My husband feels fine, they said his bloodwork was good, but he still has some very faint pink happening in his urine, plus it's a little foamy.

We live in Canada and our province's health care system has been decimated by COVID and bad government, and so I'm so scared that my husband will fall through the cracks and it will be too late to fix this.

I know I'm catastrophizing, plus I have OCD, which makes everything worse. Any thoughts you guys can provide would be welcomed. I'm so scared.

[Catkins]

I would keep reassuring yourself as much as possible. Keep focusing on anything else that you can and don't google!

[CoconutMonkey]

Thank you for replying to me. We just heard today that he's booked for an ultrasound on Friday, July 7, and then for the urologist consult the following Monday. I'm hoping this means that the urologist has seen the info from his tests at the hospital and is not in a panic. So now I need to try to stop panicking. As well, friends with PKD have said that it doesn't sound critical. Maybe now I can eat and sleep properly again.

[Ponder]

My guess is that if an appointment has been warranted at two weeks then his symptoms as provided may indicate any one of a number or reasons that are quite common for blood in the urine.
I have presented a couple of time due to blood in my urine to which had nothing to do with cancer:

One cause was *over exercise* which lead to a condition called Rhabdomyolysis. Although that condition itself if quite serious where I spend a week in hospital with near renal failure, what I learned from it is how often people do in fact get blood in the urine. Long story short - People who exerts themselves with either exercise or hard manual labor can often run into this problem which is often exacerbated with bouts of drinking alcohol, not drinking enough water and or not resting enough in-between said active periods. Of course it's not as black on white as that - BUT - my point is that those variables are very common with my people finding themselves having their CK levels tests (blood test) as the first point of call when presenting with pink to slightly brownish urine. Extreme cases typically include continuous bouts of major cramps and severe pain with urine that looks more like Coca-Cola.

Adding to that other basic causes can be as simple for some people having started a Jogging regime, bladder infection, cutting of blood circulation in some form or other and or even a bad diet that stresses the body and thus the kidneys.

I just wanted to let you know that blood in the urine is actually more common than people think and that's why the hospital can put off such tests for up to two weeks and say that said issues can be easily addressed. I myself have a comprised right kidney from the many abuses my body has endured. My right kidney is the first to get sore whenever I do a hard core detox as that's also another cause that can tax the kidneys. Medication being another often leading to kidney stones. That said, there is a LOT we can do ourselves once we understand how the body works when it comes to looking after ourselves. Unfortunately we live in a world that uses fear to sell us medical insurance, life insurance. A world that makes us feel inadequate if we do not buy into X,Y,Z & so one.

I understand the desire to Google on things people do not understand and or fear.

I can tell you as someone that often presented with discolored urine and a right comprised kidney, that hospitals deal with this a LOT and would not of made an appointment for two weeks if they thought it was something serious. Just wait until the doctors has asses the blood results which will then let you know more about what it going on. Just take heart in the mean time that it's not more serious.

PRO TIP: If you must Google ... then google as an optimist searching for things other than cancer. Stop looking at the cancer and focus on other reasons when searching. Example 'common causes of blood in the urine' will clearly give you a list where there are many more reasons than just cancer. By the way ... many in the list are easily treatable. Positive Seeking can also help us to avoid contracting more serious issues by focusing on things that help Vs those that don't. My advice is not to avoid researching but more learning how to do it in a more positive light.

All the best with the up coming appointments and tests.

[NoraB]

If you are in the grip of severe health anxiety and cannot control yourself in order to make good Googling choices (and ignore the inevitable scaremongering stuff) then my advice is to stay the hell away from Google..

[CoconutMonkey]

Thank you for replying. My worries are more about the "abnormality" they found on his CT scan. I mean, I'm also worried about whether he still has blood in his urine, and the foaminess (but those can be caused by the PKD he has just found out he has). I'm trying to remind myself that if was urgent the urologist wouldn't be waiting 3 weeks for the ultrasound, etc. And all his bloodwork was good at the hospital.

Thank you for the Pro Tip! To be honest, one of my "safe" Googling practices has been to come to this forum.

Mornings are the worst for my HA. I wake up feeling good, and then a few seconds later all the worries come crashing over me in a wave.

[NoraB]

Mornings are the worst for my HA. I wake up feeling good, and then a few seconds later all the worries come crashing over me in a wave.

You need to work on challenging your thoughts. Also, get up when you wake up. Don't just lie there; that's giving HA mind space. Get up and do stuff.