Work fear/anxiety

[.Poppy.]

Lenco, we haven't really had any sort of mass event where I am, though in the US that's always just a matter of "yet". Most crime tends to be on a smaller scale. My city is generally pretty safe, and I live in what I'd call a medium-safe area. There's a lot of college kids here, and to be honest I feel a lot safer when they are all back. But there's been an uptick in drug use/trafficking, homelessness, and theft.

And since I'm in town, there are people who just sort of wander by and they aren't always on the up and up. Mostly it's just crimes of opportunity, so if your door is locked you're okay, but I see video camera recordings that people post sometimes of individuals trying doors to see if they are unlocked or looking at windows to see if they can break in, that kind of stuff, and that scares me. Especially as things become more unstable and the economy worsens, I feel like it's just going to become more prevalent.

It makes me want to work remotely, so I can stay home and keep an eye on things. I know it's weird, but I'm of course afraid for my own safety, but I'm so worried about my pets. I have a little ledge my cat likes to sit on, and I was wondering the other day if that's a bad idea, what if someone decided to throw a rock at him, or worse, shoot at him? And I get so nervous leaving them alone because what if someone broke in and meant them harm? I'm going to have a rough time on vacation, as I'm leaving my cat behind and having someone drop in. I have an alarm system and a camera indoors and on my porch that alert me to movement, and a motion sensor in my basement but I feel like even if something happened, I may see it but I'd not get home in time to intervene, and my dog hates strangers so I wouldn't trust any sort of police force to keep him safe.

Anyway, I'm rambling again. It's frightening, but it also makes it really hard for me to get excited about making updates to my house. I knew this wouldn't be my forever home, but I feel like it just makes me want to get a better paying job so I can move, as if I could find a safer place to live somewhere else. Honestly, I need to move upward in my career anyway, both for my own personal goals and to build up my savings. I'm afraid that in a year or so my dog is going to have more health care costs and I don't want finances to be the reason I can't care for him.

[Lencoboy]

Lenco, we haven't really had any sort of mass event where I am, though in the US that's always just a matter of "yet". Most crime tends to be on a smaller scale. My city is generally pretty safe, and I live in what I'd call a medium-safe area. There's a lot of college kids here, and to be honest I feel a lot safer when they are all back. But there's been an uptick in drug use/trafficking, homelessness, and theft.

And since I'm in town, there are people who just sort of wander by and they aren't always on the up and up. Mostly it's just crimes of opportunity, so if your door is locked you're okay, but I see video camera recordings that people post sometimes of individuals trying doors to see if they are unlocked or looking at windows to see if they can break in, that kind of stuff, and that scares me. Especially as things become more unstable and the economy worsens, I feel like it's just going to become more prevalent.

It makes me want to work remotely, so I can stay home and keep an eye on things. I know it's weird, but I'm of course afraid for my own safety, but I'm so worried about my pets. I have a little ledge my cat likes to sit on, and I was wondering the other day if that's a bad idea, what if someone decided to throw a rock at him, or worse, shoot at him? And I get so nervous leaving them alone because what if someone broke in and meant them harm? I'm going to have a rough time on vacation, as I'm leaving my cat behind and having someone drop in. I have an alarm system and a camera indoors and on my porch that alert me to movement, and a motion sensor in my basement but I feel like even if something happened, I may see it but I'd not get home in time to intervene, and my dog hates strangers so I wouldn't trust any sort of police force to keep him safe.

Anyway, I'm rambling again. It's frightening, but it also makes it really hard for me to get excited about making updates to my house. I knew this wouldn't be my forever home, but I feel like it just makes me want to get a better paying job so I can move, as if I could find a safer place to live somewhere else. Honestly, I need to move upward in my career anyway, both for my own personal goals and to build up my savings. I'm afraid that in a year or so my dog is going to have more health care costs and I don't want finances to be the reason I can't care for him.

Sorry to hear about your constant fear of something untoward happening to you both at work and at home, and of course you struggling with the current financial climate.

At least you aren't currently living in a full-on war zone like Ukraine or Syria right now.

[.Poppy.]

Sorry to hear about your constant fear of something untoward happening to you both at work and at home, and of course you struggling with the current financial climate.

At least you aren't currently living in a full-on war zone like Ukraine or Syria right now.

Thanks, and I am certainly grateful of that. Our government is doing some pretty concerning things right now but hopefully it won't come to those extremes.

[.Poppy.]

I've been working on addressing my anxieties as best I can, but it's been a bit of a struggle. I'm less anxious about work now; we have a new boss coming in a couple of months and that does make me a bit nervous as I'm hoping they don't implement a ton of changes. That said, I'm a bit optimistic as I'm thinking it will be a good transition time for me to explore other things.

At home, though, I've felt less secure. My neighbor the other night was screaming profanities at his cat, and that scared me, but I actually settled down pretty quickly. But of course other things have happened - I was walking home yesterday and I think someone may have catcalled at me and then shouted something else (angry) after I didn't respond, but I had one earphone in and I was too afraid to turn around, so I don't know who it was or if they even were talking to me. I also saw several police cars with a pulled over car on my way to work this afternoon, which I realize doesn't mean much of anything but it's still concerning.

I'm trying to stay off social media, but I find it's a hard line between scaring myself and just being aware of what's going on. Someone had a post that they had some yard supplies stolen by individuals they were pretty sure were on drugs, but it was on the other side of town; however someone commented on that post that two trailers had been stolen near where I live and that the thought people were "casing the area" which of course scared me, and then the police report today said that noon yesterday a woman's car was stolen about a block away from me. I suppose on the bright side no one seems to actually be breaking into houses and I keep everything locked and alarms on, but I'm just worried it could escalate.

I'm going on vacation in a month and was going to have someone come to my house and care for my cat, but now am thinking of boarding him so I don't have to worry about him while I'm away.

I think it feels more difficult too, being that I own my home. My kitchen is coming along really well and it's going to look so nice, but I just keep thinking if I was a renter I could cut loose at the end of a lease and move somewhere else; as is I'm kind of stuck where I am, and constantly worrying if each upgrade will improve house value as I don't know if I'm going to be here forever. Although I did start fantasizing the other day about just having my whole house moved somewhere else .

We have an important election coming up in our state in a couple of weeks, and people are heated about it, and I think it's making me extra nervous. My mom was sending out postcards and even she was wearing gloves while she did it "just in case", and she won't put out a yard sign for fear of retaliation - and she's not an anxious woman, so that scares me too. On top of that, there is a lot of talk of civil unrest and comparisons to various civil wars, except everyone here is armed to the teeth and there's already so much violence.

I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself admittedly too - I miss being in college and the dream of graduating, getting a good job, getting married, etc. - all really boring, normal things that are in reach and yet aren't. I'm even nervous to date because I'm concerned I'll match with someone online who is off their rocker. I've in the past had some bad dates and am probably pretty lucky I didn't get harassed more than I did at the time.

Anyway, it just helps to vent. I'm scared and I'm sad and I miss getting excited about things. I am excited about my vacation, but again, fear the reality of coming back to where I am now.

[.Poppy.]

Admittedly struggling a bit more today. Someone posted a story on Facebook about the local grocery store, and that she was there and being followed with her two young children by an older couple. Who knows if they were really threatening to her, as every now and then someone does post a similar story, but of course it got me worried about going out alone, or particularly walking my dog alone. He's really reactive so would put on a show if someone came near, but unfortunately that also means we tend to walk in places that are less frequented, or at off times. Definitely going to include pepper spray when we go out now, just in case, because of course I also worry about someone being threatened by him and then harming him as well.

Otherwise I've been doing better; my neighbors shot off fireworks Saturday at midnight and of course I originally thought they were gunshots but was able to see them so calmed my mind a bit. I've slept a little better but that may be due to just feeling more tired in general.

[Lencoboy]

It does seem like social media in particular has made the world seem like a far scarier place over the past 20 years or so than it probably really is.

Plus of course, it's more capable than ever of being 'doctored'/ sensationalised/exaggerated for maximum effect.

On the other hand, I was watching some old episodes of Crimewatch UK from the 80s on YouTube last week, and many things actually seemed far more unsafe back then than now. Especially armed robberies and muggings seemingly being more commonplace back then than now.

[.Poppy.]

You're probably right Lenco. I think there's just a much greater awareness of incidents because of people posting on social media, or police updates. And I never really know what to make of the "trafficking" posts where people claim to be stalked through grocery stores. It's certainly possible, but there are also just weird people out there. And it's good to be aware and cautious but maybe some weird people aren't really harmful. It's just sad you can't always tell.

[Lencoboy]

You're probably right Lenco. I think there's just a much greater awareness of incidents because of people posting on social media, or police updates. And I never really know what to make of the "trafficking" posts where people claim to be stalked through grocery stores. It's certainly possible, but there are also just weird people out there. And it's good to be aware and cautious but maybe some weird people aren't really harmful. It's just sad you can't always tell.

Yes, I think we're generally more aware of and clued up about crime and likewise issues now than ever before, rather than greater 'actual' prevalence.

Ironically, quite a few of the cases featured in the 80s Crimewatch UK episodes often never even made the mainstream national news headlines, not even certain gun crimes that occured back then.

[.Poppy.]

Today was kind of hard. I’ve been just casually watching the daily updates and they’ve been pretty boring - nothing one day, and the rest just domestic disputes or shoplifting. I’ve also stayed at my parents’ this week so by default have felt safer.

Yesterday though, was awful apparently. A couple of people were robbed at gun point in broad daylight (in a trailer park, but still). A couple of unlocked vehicles were robbed in my neighborhood, but the thieves also broke several car windows to steal things. A couple had their tires slashed, another man not too far away had his car stolen. And apparently some guy lost it in a Verizon store and destroyed a display of smar****ches and threw a phone that hit and injured a little girl.

I’m going to a protest tomorrow with my mom because she asked me to go and I know it’s the right thing to do, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. I’ve also been putting stuff back to order in my house but I am definitely fighting anxiety and perhaps some depression in doing so - it all just feels so pointless, scary, and sad. Again I fantasized about picking up my house and moving it somewhere else.

The college kids are moving back into my neighborhood, which will hopefully help. I’m just upset at going back to my house this weekend, and then leaving my cat alone for my vacation with just daily check ins. I can’t tell if I’m just a mess or if crime is truly skyrocketing the way it seems to be.

[.Poppy.]

I went to the rally and it actually went pretty well. We seemed to get a lot of support. I am trying to rein in my anxiety of thinking someone saw me there and I’ll get fired or something, but that’s probably unlikely.

Unfortunately it wasn’t all great - we had breakfast on a splash park patio beforehand and a man came up to me and asked me the time. Totally normal, but it frightened me some, he was definitely either drunk or high and that was the reason. We also did a little march that went though an underpass tunnel and there was a couple of homeless men there, which really just made me sad. They were sleeping and the police made them leave. We used to have like two homeless individuals in my city and now there are a lot - I think there’s even a camp. It’s tragic and does make me feel sort of unsafe (mainly because drugs are involved) but honestly most of the stuff that happens doesn’t seem to be at their fault. For example, the car breakins and the robbing at gun point was both committed by high school kids.

IDK, it just feels helpful to rant/vent about it as no one I know deals with or worries about such things - they all either live in the posh neighborhoods or out in the country.