I have "lurked" here long enough to know that lymph nodes are a big source of anxiety for many of us. And despite reading reassuring messages about them for ages, I still find myself in a Doom Spiral about it.
I have a two year old. Around June 27/28 the family was struck down with a cold (funnily enough, I never got it. But partner and kids did). Everyone was sick for quite a while. The toddler had watery eyes, a runny nose, bit of a cough, and general not feeling well. Also had a clogged tear duct, with yellow discharge.
The runny nose for the toddler lasted until about July 12th-14th.
On July 20th I was rocking the toddler to sleep and brushed hair behind the ear and felt a lump. Cue absolute panic and meltdown. It's on the side the clogged tear duct was so I tried to rationalize that is was connected. Toddler also still suffers from cradle cap and has an itchy scalp, which leads to lots of scratching and some cuts.
The lymph node behind the ear was mobile and rubbery and about the size of a garden pea. Went for a doctor visit and was told it was likely from the cold and is small.
But it's sent me into a tail spin of panic about nodes and what horrible things it *could* mean. Then, yesterday I was looking at my little one and thought that one side of the neck seemed more puffy. No one else agrees and truly, it could be all in my imagination. But it led me to palpating her neck during her nap and I felt a lump. This is on the opposite side to the side with the one behind the ear.
It moves around but it's hard to get an actual feel of it to measure how big it is. Maybe that means it's not very big? Or it's just deeper in the neck tissue. I only felt it briefly because I am very aware of not wanting to pass my HA issues onto my kids and know it's not fair to suck them into my doom spiral. From a quick feel I'd say it's about kidney bean sized? Maybe half a kidney bean? Moves around and I don't think it feels hard. I don't feel anything in the exact same spot on the other side of the neck but feel a smaller node or two (lentil sized) further up the neck.
Obviously, finding another lump has my mind off to the races. I am in an absolute panic thinking there is something seriously wrong (my mind immediately goes to the Big C). I feel terrified! I stare at the neck constantly to see if I can see any outward signs of the node. Or watch for other presenting symptoms.
I think a part of me knows that it's often common to have palpable nodes, especially in the neck or groin area in kids. But my mind isn't working in rationality. I also know that nodes can stay raised after a cold/illness. And that touching them can cause them to stay up. I also know that the size hers are might not even be considered "swollen". But again, my mind is not working in a rational sense.
We live in a small, fairly remote area. Our doctor is on holidays for two more weeks and there are no walk in clinics. The closest hospital is over an hour away and this doesn't seem like an ER worthy trip.
But I feel so worried and scared that something is going to be seriously wrong. I can delay with my HA about myself but the idea of something happening to one of my kids paralyzes me with fear.
I would love to hear anything encouraging or even just get a verbal smack upside the head.
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