Fear of being delusional

[Daspace]

Hi guys,

To put you in context: 31 M with anxiety attacks and a terrible fear of becoming schizophrenic for 2 years.

I was afraid of everything, being alone, having a heart attack, having a stroke, having hallucinations.

I have overcome all these fears but I still have one fear of becoming paranoid.

I read a lot about paranoid delusions and since then I have intrusive thoughts that are too scary.

Ex :
- I walk in the street, I meet someone and suddenly the thought: "he's a spy" appears.
- I'm on facebook, the thought "he's talking about me" appears.

Every time these thoughts cause me a lot of anxiety and my thoughts race, I'm like, "What the ****? Why am I thinking this? I'm getting paranoid!" I know these thoughts are 100 % false but I'm afraid to start believing it 😭.

Do you think it's delusional or is it just simple anxiety ?

[NoraB]

Ex :
- I walk in the street, I meet someone and suddenly the thought: "he's a spy" appears.
- I'm on facebook, the thought "he's talking about me" appears.

If this is the extent to your irrational thoughts, I think you're ok...

I think I've run people over when they cross behind my car (even when I'm going forwards)

I murder people in my mind daily. I see death, carnage and destruction around every corner. I worry and catastrophise. It's what I do. And it used to freak me out thinking I must be some kind of deranged loon but then I realised that they're just thoughts, they're not reality.

Do you think it's delusional or is it just simple anxiety ?

The kind of thoughts you're having re 'everybody talking about you' is a very common anxiety thought these days. The spy thing is a little funkier (depends on what you've been watching on tv) but you still have a long way to go before the peeps in the white suits come for ya.

[Daspace]

Thanks for your reply Nora. Yes, these thoughts are the only ones that I find irrational and that frighten me. I noticed that they were always correlated to my main fear of the moment.

Yours don't look simple either. I've also been told that as long as you know they're irrational, there's nothing to worry about. But easy to say.

Thanks Nora