Panic and new twins - worried about coping

[Dormouse]

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here... I guess reassurance and encouragement or thoughts from others who might have experienced this. I suffered a really bad breakdown previously with terrible anxiety and panic feelings that wouldn't go away and lead to insomnia. I made a long slow recovery to the point I felt confident to have children. I now have 2 wonderful 5 months old twins. The last few days my anxiety has resurfaced and gone through the roof to the point I can't push on. I lay down for a nap and was so full of adrenaline I couldn't sleep, and I need to grab whatever sleep I can as I'm exhausted as it is. I feel so hideous and spaced out. I'm terrified of a relapse and not being able cope looking after my girls. They are such a handful it can feel like it's all on me even though my partner is brilliant and does everything he can. I'm also worried about burdening him even more. I'm trying to think of taking a day at a time but catastrophising about what will happen if this continues. Just going to try to get through tonight and call health visitor tomorrow. This was always my worse nightmare when I decided to have kids. It feels like a selfish decision at the moment. Any advice?

[Scass]

Congratulations on your twins, how lovely! But also, how exhausting! I think it’s great that you’ve made a plan to talk to your health visitor, maybe you could write down the things you want to talk about?

Your main problem seems to be fear. There’s nothing to say that you will go through it again, but you’re scared you will. So it’s probably a good time to try and find ways to relax during the day. Even if it’s just doing some deep breathing while changing nappies (although maybe with a peg on your nose!) or some affirmation and grounding techniques while you’re making bottles or breastfeeding.

You are doing a wonderful job looking after newborn twins. You must not put yourself down! X

[Catkins]

Congratulations on your twins!

I agree with Scass, try and find ways to relax during the day. Perhaps even try and do a bit of guided meditation when they're asleep if you can't nap at the moment. It's great that you're going to talk to your health visitor, sharing how you feel is really important.

Also where are you with your cycle? Hormones can really mess with how you're feeling and anxiety levels.

[Dormouse]

Congratulations on your twins!

I agree with Scass, try and find ways to relax during the day. Perhaps even try and do a bit of guided meditation when they're asleep if you can't nap at the moment. It's great that you're going to talk to your health visitor, sharing how you feel is really important.

Also where are you with your cycle? Hormones can really mess with how you're feeling and anxiety levels.

Thanks. I did wonder about that as I have felt a bit off around this time previous months. I'm not having periods at the mo as I'm breastfeeding so not sure if you still have some kind of cycle. I have always had worse anxiety with my cycle

[Catkins]

Did you speak to your HV today?

[ankietyjoe]

I remember being the FATHER of each of my kids exhausting when they were very little, so being the MOTHER of newborn twins is bound to be physically and mentally exhausting. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Anxiety is mostly a reaction to stress, and you are under significant stress both in terms of just having given birth AND looking after twins.

You'll cope simply because you'll cope. That's what parents do.

I've been through periods of insomnia/horrendous anxiety before and it does go away. Eventually your body will just shut down and reset for a period of time. The day after no sleep is the worst though, it makes you feel horrendous (as you say). Being too tired to stand, but too wired to sleep. Been there, done that lol. It's temporary though, it won't be like that forever.

Whatever help you can get from friends/family. TAKE IT!