Husband had positive bowel screening test, and I'm losing it.

[BlueIris]

Lying on the sofa trying not to puke right now. I have the best husband in the world, I don't know what I'd do without him and I feel like the most useless piece of crap because I want to be strong and I don't know if I can.

I feel as though it would be better if I died so he didn't have to deal with my crap. Sorry for making it sound all about me, I just want to be the normal, supportive wife he deserves.

I'm so sorry.

[Carnation]

You are supportive BlueIris. He knows how much you care. Don't go talking about how useless you feel because you are not! You are trying to get your head around something and when you calm down you will deal with whatever needs to be dealt with in your usual professional way. x

[BlueIris]

Thanks, Carnation

[Scass]

Scary stuff Blue, and it’s absolutely fine to make this moment about you. You’re plenty supportive but you’ve had a shock and you’re reacting naturally. This shock will pass in a bit and you’ll go back to being the Blue you’d prefer to be. Sit with this, acknowledge it’s a horrible feeling and then let it go. Do something to ground yourself.

I don’t want to Google, but what does this mean, will he now go on and have a colonoscopy or blood tests? Is he ok in himself?

You don’t have to say if you don’t want to. Just know that you are not alone, we are here and we adore you x

[pulisa]

A positive FIT test? He's been referred for a colonoscopy?

[BlueIris]

He has, yes. I keep on thinking the worst and I can't concentrate.

[BlueIris]

I just want to know that everything's going to be okay, but it might not be.

[pulisa]

You are jumping to WCS, Blue. You HAVE to take things one step at a time. A positive FIT can be the result of many benign conditions including swallowing blood from oral issues or a minor nosebleed. Also polyps which are very common. Also piles etc.

He wouldn't want you to catastrophise just as you wouldn't want him to catastrophise if this happened to you. One step at a time. It won't be long before the colonoscopy when you will both get more clarity and an end to uncertainty and the what if torture. Get the colonoscopy booked asap. Once you get your head round this you'll cope a lot better. One step at a time once again.

[BlueIris]

You're right, Pulisa, I know you are. Trying to be sensible, promise.

[pulisa]

It's ok not to be sensible on here. It's the shock of something happening which you were not anticipating.